Sunday, August 14, 2011

My June Holidays


Chung Guo Zi Li                                                                                                                                
I spent my June  holidays from 5 June to 25 Jun 2011, in Taiwan, China and HK with my brother, parents and grand parents.  The entire trip was 20 days. It was my first encounter with real Chinese culture of different countries. It was an enriching experience for me to learn about different Chinese communities  and the way they speak the Chinese language. In Taiwan, they like to use “sze ah”to end the sentence whilst in China, the people like to use “mei she” to express it is OK.
In Taiwan, we visited the Fisherman’s Wharf  just across from  Dan Shui in Northern TAIPEI. In the city, we visited Taipei  101 and also the famous Palace Museum, where I  learn about the Chinese civilisation. It  also showcase the  treasures from the various Chinese dynasties e.g Ming Dynasty..  such  as the Jade Cabbage.
From Taiwan, we crossed over to China’s Quan Zhou where I visited my ancestor shrine /hall and learnt about the history of our Ding clan which has its roots in Tan Tay.  I am the 25th generation and it first started in 1251. And till now 2011 it has a  760 ancestral history.
Then we went on to visit Xiamen, Xiamen University ..also the beautiful island of Gulangyi- with so many attractive shopfronts like our conservation shophouses  with multi-racial crowds like  Orchard Road. The most outstanding feature is the statue of hero  Zhen Chen Kong standing 15.6 m and build from 621 huge white granite stones  standing at the island.
Then we take the night train to Ji An, I slept in the train cubicle beds like in Star Cruise. From Ji an, we also explored the mountain springs and spas in An Fu - Wu Gong Shan as well as Jing Gang Shan, which is the  birth place of the Communist party in 1921. This year is their 90th anniversary celebrations so it was very exciting. We spent several days in Jing Gang Shan and took the cable cars over the waterfalls and forests, also went to the peak to  enjoy  the splendid mountainous ranges like Huang Yang Jie where a famous battle was fought between the Nationalist and Communist. The state museum in Jing Gang Shan also capture the entire history of the birth of Chinese Communist Party  until the beginning of Modern China.  The entire Jiong Gang shan  has become a popular tourist district and we also do some shopping at Tien Jie.
For a change from city life, we travelled to  the farms near Kan Zhou  in Ma Jia Shi to enjoy village life. We spent several days fishing in the ponds, looking at pigs, and stayed in  the simple house of our relatives who are farmers.  They are very friendly and hospitable to us.  Along Gan River, I saw  the fisherman using Commorants to catch fishes.
Then we travelled to  Shenzhen and took the MTR to Hong Kong. It was tiring moving from place to place with several luggages. HK is very crowded and squeezy but the MTR is very convenient. Our Hotel L  in Island South overlook and has a  full mountain view of the Victoria Peak. I enjoyed the special tram ride up the slope  to the Victoria Peak- and see the whole HK city landscape of skyscrapers. We also visited the Wax Museum, and at last, I can have a picture with Albert Einstein’s wax  look a like.
It was a fruitful and meaningful trip for me as I try to speak mandarin, read Chinese road names and try to understand  the culture of our Chinese friends in Taiwan, China and HK  to appreciate much more than what I see on TV.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

remember this and do well

Sweet words are easy to say... Sweet things are easy to buy... But... Sweet people are difficult to find....



Life ends when you stop dreaming...


Hope ends when you stop believing...


Love ends when you stop caring.....


Friendship ends when you stop sharing.....


So share this with whoever you consider a friend...


To love without condition.....


To talk without intention.....


To bless without regret.....

Saturday, August 7, 2010

wise sayings from lao tzu

“Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses.”


“Anticipate the difficult by managing the easy”

“He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still”

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”

“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.”

“One can not reflect in streaming water. Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.”

“Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.”

“At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.”

“Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”

“Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.”

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

“The words of truth are always paradoxical.”

“Respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment.”

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”

“Great acts are made up of small deeds.”

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”

“If you would take, you must first give, this is the beginning of intelligence.”

“Life and death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides.”

“To lead people, walk beside them... As for the best leaders, the people do not notice their existence. The next best, the people honor and praise. The next, the people fear; and the next, the people hate... When the best leader's work is done the people say, 'We did it ourselves!'”

“A good traveller has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.”



“Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.”

“One who is too insistent on his own views, finds few to agree with him.”

“He who is contented is rich”

“To realize that you do not understand is a virtue; Not to realize that you do not understand is a defect.”

“From caring comes courage”

“Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it”

“To know yet to think that one does not know is best; Not to know yet to think that one knows will lead to difficulty.”

“I do not concern myself with gods and spirits either good or evil nor do I serve any”

“He who talks more is sooner exhausted”

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.”

“He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.”

“Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment.”

“To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.”

“He who obtains has little. He who scatters has much.”

“I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.”

“When virtue is lost, benevolence appears, when benevolence is lost right conduct appears, when right conduct is lost, expedience appears. Expediency is the mere shadow of right and truth; it is the beginning of disorder.”

“Knowing others is wisdom; Knowing the self is enlightenment; Mastering others requires force; Mastering the self needs strength”

“Truthful words are not beautiful; beautiful words are not truthful. Good words are not persuasive; persuasive words are not good.”

“He who does not trust enough, Will not be trusted”

“He who conquers others is strong; He who conquers himself is mighty”

“The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be.”

“Doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing”

“The way to do is to be.”

“He who has no faith in others shall find no faith in them”

“The power of intuitive understanding will protect you from harm until the end of your days.”

“An ant on the move does more than a dozing ox.”

“Without stirring abroad, one can know the whole world; Without looking out of the window one can see the way of heaven. The further one goes the less one knows.”

“The well-run group is not a battlefield of egos.”

“Nothing in the world is more flexible and yielding than water. Yet when it attacks the firm and the strong, none can withstand it, because they have no way to change it. So the flexible overcome the adamant, the yielding overcome the forceful. Everyone knows this, but no one can do it.”

“To see things in the seed, that is genius.”

“A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.”

“Manifest plainness, Embrace simplicity, Reduce selfishness, Have few desires”

“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.”

“For the wise man looks into space and he knows there is no limited dimensions.”

“One may know the world without going out of doors”

“I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize. The first is gentleness; the second is frugality; the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others. Be gentle and you can be bold; be frugal and you can be liberal; avoid putting yourself before others and you can become a leader among men.”

“Activity conquers cold, but stillness conquers heat”

“One who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.”

“Those who have knowledge, don't predict. Those who predict, don't have knowledge.”

“Born to be wild - live to outgrow it.”

“He who accounts all things easy will have many difficulties”

“Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it.”

“Kindness in giving creates love.”

“To lead the people, walk behind them.”

“Silence is a source of great strength.”

“From wonder into wonder existence opens.”

“When the effective leader is finished with his work, the people say it happened naturally.”

“When the best leader's work is done the people say, ''We did it ourselves.''”

“Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins.”

“Because of deep love, one is courageous. Because of frugality, one is generous. Because of not daring to be ahead of the world, one becomes the leader of the world.”

“The sage does not hoard. The more he helps others, the more he benefits himself, The more he gives to others, the more he gets himself. The Way of Heaven does one good but never does one harm. The Way of the sage is to act but not to compete.”

“People in their handling of affairs often fail when they are about to succeed. If one remains as careful at the end as he was at the beginning, there will be no failure.”

“A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.”

“Muddy water, let stand - becomes clear”

“The sage wears clothes of coarse cloth but carries jewels in his bosom; He knows himself but does not display himself; He loves himself but does not hold himself in high esteem”

“There are many paths to enlightenment. Be sure to take one with a heart.”

“Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.”

“A good manager is best when people barely know that he exists. Not so good when people obey and acclaim him. Worse when they despise him.”

“All difficult things have their origin in that which is easy, and great things in that which is small.”

He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.”

“Great indeed is the sublimity of the Creative, to which all beings owe their beginning and which permeates all heaven.”

“Treat those who are good with goodness, and also treat those who are not good with goodness. Thus goodness is attained. Be honest to those who are honest, and be also honest to those who are not honest. Thus honesty is attained...”

“The supreme excellence is not to win a hundred victories in a hundred battles. The supreme excellence is to subdue the armies of your enemies without even having to fight them.”

“The people are hungry: It is because those in authority eat up too much in taxes.”

“Nature is not human hearted.”

“The wicked leader is he who the people despise. The good leader is he who the people revere. The great leader is he who the people say, we did it ourselves.”

“Those who make their living by collecting taxes cause the people to starve; when the people starve, the tax collectors, having no one to tax starve also”

“In the world there is nothing more submissive and weak than water. Yet for attacking that which is hard and strong nothing can surpass it.”

“For all things difficult to acquire, the intelligent man works with perseverance.”

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.”

“He who possess virtue in abundance may be compared to an infant”

“The reason why the universe is eternal is that it does not live for itself; it gives life to others as it transforms”

“Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend. Non-being is the greatest joy.”

“He who gains a victory over other men is strong; but he who gains a victory over himself is all powerful.”

“From of old the things that have acquired unity are these: Heaven by unity has become clear; Earth by unity has become steady; The Spirit by unity has become spiritual; The Valley by unity has become full; All things by unity have come into existence.”

“The name that can be named is not the eternal Name.”

“The wise man does not lay up his own treasures. The more he gives to others, the more he has for his own.”

“By accident of fortune a man may rule the world for a time, but by virtue of love he may rule the world forever”

“Clay is molded to form a cup, But it is on its non-being that the utility of the cup depends. Doors and windows are cut out to make a room, But it is on its non-being that the utility of the room depends. Therefore turn being into advantage, and turn non-being into utility.”

“Such is the essential mystery.”

“Fail to honor people,they fail to honor you; but of a good leader, who talks little, when his work is done, his aims fulfilled, they will all say, 'We did this ourselves.'”

“The leader shows that style is no substitute for substance, that creating an impression is more potent than acting from one's center.”

“The career of a sage is of two kinds: He is either honored by all in the world, Like a flower waving its head, Or else he disappears into the silent forest.”

“The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white. Neither need you do anything but be yourself.”

“A tree trunk the size of a man grows from a blade as thin as a hair. A tower nine stories high is built from a small heap of earth.”

“Pride attaches undue importance to the superiority of one's status in the eyes of others; And shame is fear of humiliation at one's inferior status in the estimation of others. When one sets his heart on being highly esteemed, and achieves such rating, then he is automatically involved in fear of losing his status.”

“Ambition has one heel nailed in well, though she stretch her fingers to touch the heavens.”

“Go to the people. Live with them. Learn from them. Love them. Start with what they know. Build with what they have. But with the best leaders, when the work is done, the task accomplished, the people will say "We have done this ourselves".”

“Rule a kingdom as though you were cooking a small fish - don't overdo it”

“Of all that is good, sublimity is supreme. Succeeding is the coming together of all that is beautiful. Furtherance is the agreement of all that is just. Perseverance is the foundation of all actions.”

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist in whatever way they like.”

“The journey of a thousand leagues begins with a single step.”

“Acting without design, occupying oneself without making a business of it, finding the great in what is small and the many in the few, repaying injury with kindness, effecting difficult things while they are easy, and managing great things in their be”

“Advise the ruler to govern the state as one cooks a small fish - that is, don't turn it so often in the pan that it disintegrates”

“The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness into our awareness.”

“When armies are mobilized and issues joined, the man who is sorry over the fact will win”

“Governing a great nation is like cooking a small fish - too much handling will spoil it.”

“The farther you go, the less you know”

“Be the chief but never the lord.”

“Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.”

“He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.”

“A thousand miles starts from beneath one's feet.”

“Darkness within darkness. The gateway to all understanding.”

“Naturally forward in whatever way they like.”

“He who knows he has enough is rich.”

“To perceive things in the germ is intelligence”

“To have little is to possess.

To have plenty is to be perplexed.”

“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”

“A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.”

“Heaven and earth are ruthless and treat the myriad creatures as straw dogs.”

“Because of a great love, one is courageous.”

“As soon as you have made a thought, laugh at it.”

“The Way of Heaven does not compete, and yet it skillfully achieves victory.”

“Simulated disorder postulates perfect discipline; simulated fear postulates courage; simulated weakness postulates strength.”

“Favor and disgrace are like fear. Favor is in a higher place, and disgrace in a lower place. When you win them you are like being in fear, and when you lose them you are also like being in fear. So favor and disgrace are like fear.”

“If the Great Way perishes there will morality and duty. When cleverness and knowledge arise great lies will flourish. When relatives fall out with one another there will be filial duty and love. When states are in confusion there will be faithful servants.”

“The Way is empty yet use will not drain it.”

“It is the Vague and Elusive. Meet it and you will not see its head. Follow it and you will not see its back.”

“How could man rejoice in victory and delight in the slaughter of men?”

“Violence, even well intentioned, always rebounds upon oneself.”

“To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.”

“Tao invariably takes no action, and yet there is nothing left undone.”

“He who knows others is learned; he who knows himself is wise.”

“The softest things in the world to overcome the hardest things in the world.”

“To know men is to be wise; to know oneself is to be illumined”

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

what is friendship

FRIENDSHIP



Friendships are relaxed, loyal relationships that involve intimacy, communication, and empathy. Friendship is a relief. Friends relate.


Friendship is an in-depth, relaxed relationship!


Friends relate.


It is an in-depth relationship combining trust, support, communication, loyalty, understanding, empathy, and intimacy.


These are certainly aspects of life that all of us crave.


Being able to trust and relax with your friend is a big part of friendship.


Remember when you were young and went with a friend to her grandma's for the week-end. It was fun but when you got home, home was wonderful. Your feeling was "I'm home. I can relax now."


That's what a friendship should be.


You go out into the world and do your best. You have your ups and downs, your problems and triumphs, your fun and tribulations. You charm and you perform.


Then you come "home" to a friend. You can relax, put up your feet; you are relieved. If you still have to be charming and/or performing, it's not a relief.


Friendship is a comfy situation like home. You get home, kick off your shoes, relax and sigh, "Ahh, home."


Being able to trust and relax with your best friend is a big part of friendship. Friendships are relationships.


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


A friend is friendly, happy, and playful, too. A friend doesn't yell at you. You play with each other all the time.


You try not to fight with a friend. You help each other when you get hurt.


A friend is someone who goes with you in the good times and bad times.'


Good friends are always by your side. When you're playing they don't walk away.


They never fight with you because then they aren't your friend.


If you don't have any friends then you aren't friendly.


God bless, friends.


A friend is a person who comes and won't judge a flower by its color.


A person who will never give up on you.


A person who will comfort you when storms of tears are in your mind.


A person who will just have some fun with you and give you a good laugh.'


A person that doesn't mind expressing their happy or sad feelings to you.


A friend is someone you can depend on. Someone who you can talk to. A friend could be anything like a person, dog or cat. Whatever a friend is it doesn't matter as long as it's your friend. Many people don't know that. A friend is a friend and that's all that matters.


A friend is for loving, helping, playing, and comforts you all the time. They try to love you.


A friend shares tops, popcorn and money. They don't try to ditch you and they never hurt your feeling.


A friend doesn't boss you around or call you dreadful names. A friend worries about you for ever and ever.


But most of all a friend should love you. You should have a wonderful friendship forever.


A friend is someone who is spectacular! You love them deep down inside your heart. Someone who helps you when you are hurt or sad, or even if you're happy.


A friend is someone who is kind to you and knows how you feel when you are scared.


A friend is someone who cares and helps you when you are in trouble or when you are hurt.


A friend comes in different ways.


A friend will always remember you in their heart and you will remember them, too.


A friend is someone who doesn't dump you and who helps you when you get hurt. Someone who says they are sorry when they do something to hurt your feelings.


Someone who doesn't make fun of you or your name.


A friend is someone who shares his toys with you and helps you when you need help in reading or writing.


A friend is someone who helps you and is loving. They make sure you are okay and plays with you. They don't make fun of you. Forgive them when they get into a fight with you.


A friend is someone who doesn't tell you to do bad things.


A friend is someone who likes you and everything you do.


A friend is someone who likes your room.


A friend is a person who cares about you. He would let you borrow stuff, and wouldn't say mean things. He would be by your side and would not let you down.


A friend is someone who cares about you, plays with you and sticks up for you if someone is mean to you.


A friend is someone that never makes fun of you. They help you, share with you and never boss you around. I also think a friend is someone who never hurts you and cares for you.


A friend to me is like a hug! It is very special.


A friend is someone who cares for people. Friends are people who are thoughtful. They help you when you're hurt.


A friend is someone who is thoughtful, kind, caring and helpful.


A friend is someone who you can depend on.


A friend is someone you have fun with, someone you care about and someone you love.


A friend is someone you can tell secrets to. Friends especially don't steal from each other or fight. They always help and are kind to one another.


A friend is someone who cares for you, who sticks by your side when you're lonely, who helps you up when you get hurt, but most importantly friends come in different ways.


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


~ Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity. ~ Kahlil Gibran 1883


~ To find a friend one must close one eye; To keep him, two. ~ Norman


The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson, adapted


~ The only way to have a friend is to be one. ~


~ But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life; and thanks to a benevolent arrangement of things, the greater part of life is sunshine. ~

JUST RESPECT ONE ANOTHER

 What Respect Is
Respect is...


Respect means a lot of different things. On a practical level it seems to include taking someone's feelings, needs, thoughts, ideas, wishes and preferences into consideration. We might also say it means taking all of these seriously and giving them worth and value. In fact, giving someone respect seems similar to valuing them and their thoughts, feelings, etc. It also seems to include acknowledging them, listening to them, being truthful with them, and accepting their individuality and idiosyncrasies.

Respect can be shown through behavior and it can also be felt. We can act in ways which are considered respectful, yet we can also feel respect for someone and feel respected by someone. Because it is possible to act in ways that do not reflect how we really feel, the feeling of respect is more important than the behavior without the feeling. When the feeling is there, the behavior will naturally follow.


Respect is...listening with out interrupting



Respect is...taking your partner's feelings into consideration



Respect is...keeping an open mind



Respect is...agreeing to disagree



Respect is...trying to understand your partner's viewpoint



Respect is...loving yourself



Respect is...trust and honesty



Respect is...giving each other space


Respect is...nonviolence



Respect is...direct communication



Respect is...building a person up instead of tearing them down

Respect is...friendship



Respect is…not pressuring the other person



Why It is Important

Going back in time, respect played an important role in survival. If we think of a small tribe wandering in the desert we can imagine that a person not respected by anyone could be left behind and die. Such a person was considered to have no worth, no importance, no value to the group. This, I believe is the foundation of our psychological need to feel respected.


Nowadays it seems much more possible to survive without being respected. Someone could, for example, inherit a large sum of money, have many servants and employees and have salesmen constantly calling on him and catering to him, yet not be respected in the least. Someone could also make a lot of money through having a particular talent which is valued, such as being able to dunk a basketball yet not really be respected, perhaps because of the way he treats others.


Still, there is a value to respect which money can't buy. Though someone's life might not depend on it, there are times, many times in fact, when another person has the chance to make a personal decision - a judgment call. When that person feels sincere respect for someone else, they will make a different decision than if they feel no respect, even if they have customarily shown a false, pseudo-respect to the person.


We can all sense whether we are respected or not. This holds true for those with money and power as well. Moreover, it is quite possible that those who pursue money and power are actually trying to gain a type of respect that they never have truly felt.


When we are respected we gain the voluntary cooperation of people. We don't have to use as much of our energy and resources trying to get our needs met. When people respect one another there are fewer conflicts. In summary, it is for both evolutionary and practical reasons that respect is important, and also why we simply feel better when we are respected.




Where Respect Comes From



As I see it, respect is something that is earned. One earns another's respect by voluntarily doing the things I mentioned above, such as taking that person's feelings, needs and thoughts into consideration.


Respect seems to be like a boomerang in the sense that you must send it out before it will come back to you. Respect cannot be demanded or forced, though sometimes people mistakenly believe that it can, as I discuss below.


Since a baby has no concept of respect, and feels only its own needs when it is first born, I believe that the only successful way to teach a child what respect is, is to earn the respect of the child as they slowly grow into a thinking human being.


The way this is done is first of all by attending to the child's natural needs, such as to be fed and nurtured. As the child grows, his needs change. He has increasingly sophisticated psychological needs. He begins to express his own views, his own preferences, and he has an increasing need for freedom, autonomy and independence. This is when the adults in his life can treat him with increasing respect and thereby earn his respect in return.


It doesn't make sense to think of respecting a baby in the same way that we say we respect an adult. Yet on some level the two concepts are similar. This similarity has to do with our voluntarily helping that person with their needs. In either case, we must first accept the needs. For example, if a baby needs to be fed at three in the morning we don't do it begrudgingly if we respect his natural needs; we simply accept that the infant has a natural need to eat at that particular moment. Likewise, if an adolescent or an adult needs to talk, we accept this need and we show respect by listening voluntarily.

Below are more specific ways to show and earn respect, particularly to an older child, adolescent or adult.

Showing and Earning Respect


Respecting someone means respecting their feelings and their survival needs. Here are ways to show respect for someone's feelings:

asking them how they feel
validating their feelings
empathizing with them
seeking understanding of their feelings
taking their feelings into consideration


For this process to work efficiently several things are required. For example:



Each person must be aware of their own feelings; i.e. know how they feel.


They must be able to express their feelings.


They must know how to listen non-judgmentally & non-defensively.


They must know how to validate feelings.


They must believe that feelings have value.


They must believe that feelings matter.


If respecting someone means respecting their feelings and their survival needs, then if a person does not respect your feelings, they don't respect you. If those in positions of power and authority do not respect your needs and feelings, they will not earn your respect.



Here are some specific ways to show respect:



Asking others "How would you feel if..." before making a decision which affects them

Voluntarily making changes and compromises to accommodate their feelings, desires and needs


Not interrupting them


Soliciting and allowing feedback. Trying to understand their beliefs, values and needs


Giving them the opportunity to solve their own problems without underestimating them, in particular:


Avoid telling them what to do


Avoid telling them what they 'need' to or 'should do


Avoid giving them unsolicited advice, sermons and lectures

Remember that the most effective way of finding out how well your efforts are working is to simply ask, "On a scale of 0-10, how much do you feel respected by me?" If you have created a safe environment, you are likely to get an honest answer. Then if it is lower than 10, you can ask, "What would help you feel more respected?" Then you have the specific information you need to improve your 'rating.' I have found that most people are more than willing to express themselves when asked such a question. And the answers are typically articulate, and often surprising.



SOME QUOTES ON RESPECT

~ When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom. ~ John Gray


~ He who does not have the courage to speak up for his rights cannot earn the respect of others. ~ Rene G. Torres

~ Only those who respect the personality of others can be of real use to them. ~ Albert Schweitzer



~ We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. ~ John Gay

~ Probably no greater honor can come to any man than the respect of his colleagues. ~ Cary Grant



~ We must build a new world, a far better world - one in which the eternal dignity of man is respected. ~ Harry S. Truman



~ A youth is to be regarded with respect. How do you know that his future will not be equal to our present? ~ Confucius


~ You should respect each other and refrain from disputes; you should not, like water and oil, repel each other, but should, like milk and water, mingle together. ~ Buddha


~ Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that's real power. ~ Clint Eastwood


~ Love and respect woman. Look to her not only for comfort, but for strength and inspiration and the doubling of your intellectual and moral powers. Blot out from your mind any idea of superiority; you have none. ~ Giuseppe Mazzini

Friday, May 7, 2010

Celebrating Mother 's Day with this story 珍惜眼前人

This is a real story of what Mother means  to a girl ----- read on:


"When was the last time we told our mothers 'I love you'? When we were young, we would always shower our mothers with little hand-made cards that were filled with lots of drawings of hearts.

"We would also kiss and hug them every now and then. As we grow older, we find it harder to express our feelings and appreciation for them.

"A lot of us are guilty of this. Today, I would like to take this chance to tell my mom that although I always argue or disagree with her, I love her deep down inside.

"My mother is an ordinary housewife, devoting most of her time to our small family of 3 (my parents and I). I have always been my mommy’s little girl.

"From young, I have only had one mission which my mother imposed on me - that is to do well in my studies and get a good job. Anything that will distract me from this was to be handled my mother.

"Hence, I've never had to do household chores. When I am hungry, my mom would buy food for me.

"When I run out of toiletries, she would help me to buy them. She would also wash and iron my clothes.

She takes care of everything for me, from top to toe. With such good support to do well in my education, I am proud to say that I have not failed her.

"I managed to graduate with a business administration degree from NUS. I have never failed in any tests and exams before, with only one exception.
"I failed my Chinese test when I was in Primary 5. I remembered vividly how scared I was to show my mother the results.

"When I finally did, my mother was so disappointed that she refused to talk to me for a week. From then on, I promised myself to do well and to never fail her ever again.

"I am glad to say that I did not break the promise. I remember the day of my university convocation - she was very proud of me although she did not say it.

"I remember when I was walking down the aisle, there was this majestic sounding music playing in the background. In my mind, I was telling myself, 'Mom, I have finally made it. I did not disappoint you.'

"My mother takes really good care of me, especially when I am sick. There was once that I was hospitalised for a suspected dengue fever.

"She was very worried for me. She stayed overnight at the hospital and slept on the uncomfortable chair which caused her a backache.

"Everyday she rushed between home and hospital, making sure that I had my proper meals and saw to my needs. She panicked when she saw the drip filled with blood.

"She checked with the nurses every now and then to ensure that everything was alright. Even when I am down with normal flu, she will stay awake throughout the night to measure my temperature at every other hour.

"Should my temperature rise above 38 degrees, she will prepare a wet towel and place it on my head. She will also rush home from work to accompany me to see the doctor and force me to get up from bed to eat food before taking medication.

"The most touching thing that she has done for me was to give me 4 years worth of her salary to help me pay off bank debts.
"I was dating this guy, Eric. He wanted to borrow a sum of money from me.

"As I did not have much savings, I borrowed from banks to lend money to him. When I asked him to return the money, he started to give all kinds of excuses.

"After that, I found out by accident that I was not the first girl that he had borrowed money from and that the girls had never got their money back. By then, I already owed the banks a substantial debt.

"I did not even have money to pay the interest. I was living from month to month by borrowing money from one bank to pay another bank.

"The interest rose and created more debt, until I was unable to take it. I was very stressful then and was very afraid that my mother would find out.

"It finally got to the point when I could no longer roll my debts that I told my mother about it. She was very upset but she told me that she would give me the money to clear all my debts.

"I broke into tears. She held my face and told me, 'You are my only child. If I don’t help you, who else can you turn to?'
"I was very touched by this. I have to say that my family belongs to the middle lower class.

"My mother's only income came from the limited amount of money she earns from her part-time job. The money she gave me was equivalent to 4 years worth of her salary.
"Can you imagine it??? 4 years of hard-earned money went down the drain because of her daughter’s silly mistake!
"It was truly a heartache! But as a parent, she would go all out to protect her child.

"For this, I am very thankful to her and I felt very guilty and bad about this incident. It was a very painful lesson for me.
"To all the children out there, I wish to tell you that every mother wants the best for her child. Mothers have this indescribable instinct to protect their children.

"Although their nagging can be unbearable at times, we have to appreciate them and show them our love while we can.
"The Chinese have this saying called '珍惜眼前人'. It means to appreciate your loved ones before it is too late.
FROM JABEZ AND RAPHA

"To my mother, no words can describe the love that you have showered on me. I love you, mom."

http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/top_mum_awards/368752/mum_gave_me_4_years_worth_of_her_salary_to_pay_off_my_debts.html

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Salutation to the Dawn

Salutation to the Dawn


Look to this day!


For it is life, the very life of life.


In its brief course


Lie all the verities and realities of your existence:


The bliss of growth


The glory of action


The splendor of beauty


For yesterday is but a dream


And tomorrow only a vision


But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness


And every tomorrow a vision of hope.


Look well, therefore to this day!


Such is the salutation to the dawn.


- Kalidasa, Indian Poet