Sunday, March 3, 2013
7 Reasons Why Coffee Is Good For You
Coffee isn’t just warm and energizing, it may also be extremely good for you.
In recent years and decades, scientists have studied the effects of coffee on various aspects of health and their results have been nothing short of amazing.
Here are 7 reasons why coffee may actually be one of the healthiest beverages on the planet.
1. Coffee Can Make You Smarter
Coffee doesn’t just keep you awake, it may literally make you smarter as well.
The active ingredient in coffee is caffeine, which is a stimulant and the most commonly consumed psychoactive substance in the world.
Caffeine’s primary mechanism in the brain is blocking the effects of an inhibitory neurotransmitter called Adenosine.
By blocking the inhibitory effects of Adenosine, caffeine actually increases neuronal firing in the brain and the release of other neurotransmitters like dopamine and norepinephrine (1, 2).
Many controlled trials have examined the effects of caffeine on the brain, demonstrating that caffeine can improve mood, reaction time, memory, vigilance and general cognitive function (3).
Bottom Line: Caffeine potently blocks an inhibitory neurotransmitter in the brain, leading to a net stimulant effect. Controlled trials show that caffeine improves both mood and brain function.
Espresso: Evan Swigart/Wikimedia Commons
2. Coffee Can Help You Burn Fat and Improves Physical Performance
There’s a good reason why you will find caffeine in most commercial fat burning supplements.
Caffeine, partly due to its stimulant effect on the central nervous system, both raises metabolism and increases the oxidation of fatty acids (4, 5, 6).
Caffeine can also improve athletic performance by several mechanisms, including by mobilizing fatty acids from the fat tissues (7, 8).
In two separate meta-analyses, caffeine was found to increase exercise performance by 11-12% on average (9, 10).
Bottom Line: Caffeine raises the metabolic rate and helps to mobilize fatty acids from the fat tissues. It can also enhance physical performance.
3. Coffee May Drastically Lower Your Risk of Type II Diabetes
Type II diabetes is a lifestyle-related disease that has reached epidemic proportions, having increased 10-fold in a few decades and now afflicting about 300 million people.
This disease is characterized by high blood glucose levels due to insulin resistance or an inability to produce insulin.
In observational studies, coffee has been repeatedly associated with a lower risk of diabetes. The reduction in risk ranges from 23% all the way up to 67% (11, 12, 13, 14).
A massive review article looked at 18 studies with a total of 457.922 participants. Each additional cup of coffee per day lowered the risk of diabetes by 7%. The more coffee people drank, the lower their risk (15).
Bottom Line: Drinking coffee is associated with a drastically reduced risk of type II diabetes. People who drink several cups per day are the least likely to become diabetic.
4. Coffee May Lower Your Risk of Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s
Not only can coffee make you smarter in the short term, it may also protect your brain in old age.
Alzheimer’s disease is the most common neurodegenerative disorder in the world and a leading cause of dementia.
In prospective studies, coffee drinkers have up to a 60% lower risk of Alzheimer’s and dementia (16, 17, 18).
Parkinson’s is the second most common neurodegenerative disorder, characterized by death of dopamine-generating neurons in the brain. Coffee may lower the risk of Parkinson’s by 32-60% (19, 20, 21, 22).
Bottom Line Coffee is associated with a much lower risk of dementia and the neurodegenerative disorders Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s.
5. Coffee May be Extremely Good For Your Liver
The liver is a remarkable organ that carries out hundreds of vital functions in the body.
It is very vulnerable to modern insults such as excess consumption of alcohol and fructose.
Cirrhosis is the end stage of liver damage caused by diseases like alcoholism and hepatitis, where liver tissue has been largely replaced by scar tissue.
Multiple studies have shown that coffee can lower the risk of cirrhosis by as much as 80%, the strongest effect for those who drank 4 or more cups per day (23, 24, 25).
Coffee may also lower the risk of liver cancer by around 40% (26, 27).
Bottom Line: Coffee appears to be protective against certain liver disorders, lowering the risk of liver cancer by 40% and cirrhosis by as much as 80%.
6. Coffee May Decrease Your Risk of Dying
Many people still seem to think that coffee is unhealthy.
This isn’t surprising though, since it is very common for conventional wisdom to be at exact odds with what the actual studies say.
In two very large prospective epidemiological studies, drinking coffee was associated with a lower risk of death by all causes (28).
This effect is particularly profound in type II diabetics, one study showing that coffee drinkers had a 30% lower risk of death during a 20 year period (29).
Bottom Line: Coffee consumption has been associated with a lower risk of death in prospective epidemiological studies, especially in type II diabetics.
7. Coffee is Loaded With Nutrients and Antioxidants
Coffee isn’t just black water.
Many of the nutrients in the coffee beans do make it into the final drink, which actually contains a decent amount of vitamins and minerals.
A cup of coffee contains (30):
6% of the RDA for Pantothenic Acid (Vitamin B5).
11% of the RDA for Riboflavin (Vitamin B2).
2% of the RDA for Niacin (B3) and Thiamine (B1).
3% of the RDA for Potassium and Manganese.
May not seem like much, but if you drink several cups of coffee per day then this quickly adds up.
But this isn’t all. Coffee also contains a massive amount of antioxidants.
In fact, coffee is the biggest source of antioxidants in the western diet, outranking both fruits and vegetables combined (31, 32, 33).
Bottom Line: Coffee contains a decent amount of several vitamins and minerals. It is also the biggest source of antioxidants in the modern diet.
Take Home Message
Even though coffee in moderate amounts is good for you, drinking way too much of it can still be harmful.
I’d also like to point out that many of the studies above were epidemiological in nature. Such studies can only show association, they can not prove that coffee caused the effects.
To make sure to preserve the health benefits, don’t put sugar or anything nasty in your coffee! If it tends to affect your sleep, then don’t drink it after 2pm.
At the end of the day, it does seem quite clear that coffee is NOT the villain it was made out to be.
If anything, coffee may literally be the healthiest beverage on the planet.
This article was republished with permission from Authority Nutrition.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Just How Bad Is It to Exercise at Night?
Just How Bad Is It to Exercise at Night?
by Fiora Stevens on February 12, 2013
Conventional wisdom says don’t exercise at night. After all, doesn’t exercise get your heart racing and activate hormones that aren’t exactly sleep inducing? Well, yes and no. Let’s take a deeper dive into this question and separate some of the myths from science.
There are four main reasons that many people use to argue that you shouldn’t exercise at night:
Exercise increases your body’s core temperature for 4-5 hours.
Exercise releases endorphins.
Exercise increases epinephrine levels.
“It just isn’t healthy.”
Let’s address these four reasons, looking at the science and rationalization behind them.
Core Temperature
Your body maintains a core temperature of 98.6 ºF, which is healthy for most people. Exercise will raise your body’s core temperature, which is perfectly normal and healthy. In extreme cases, body temperature can even go as high as 104 ºF (which is unhealthy). However, rest and hydration will bring your body temperature back down to normal.
It takes 4-5 hours for your body to return to its normal, resting temperature. However, after thirty minutes to an hour, depending on the intensity of your workout, your body should feel normal – not warm enough to interfere with your sleep.
Endorphins
Many people who are against working out at night claim that the release of endorphins, which happens in exercise, makes it more difficult to sleep. However, other scientific studies have revealed that the release of endorphins through sex actually helps you sleep. It seems that endorphins themselves aren’t the problem. Rather, people are more prone to shirk the responsibilities of exercise and enjoy the pleasures of sex before going to bed!
Epinephrine Levels
It’s well known that epinephrine/adrenaline increases during exercise. The question is, does the presence of epinephrine last long enough to interfere with sleep? Generally speaking, once your heart rate has returned to normal (which should happen a half hour after exercise) the epinephrine in your body should have stabilized. Bottom line? Finish workouts at least a half hour before you want to go to bed.
“Just Not Healthy”
This is an excuse spoken by people who are either ignorant about science or lazy. Don’t let them stop you from pursuing optimum health with a workout routine. If you can only workout at night, that’s okay. We encourage you to go for it!
Why All the Argument Against Night Time Exercising?
Most experts tend to agree that the reason exercising at night has gotten such a bad rap is that most people are looking for an excuse not to exercise! If the evening is the only available time in your schedule, it’s easy to dismiss exercise in the name of sleep.
Plus, if you’re already exhausted, exercise will only make you more tired. And, contrary to what you might expect, being completely exhausted does not mean better sleep. Over-exhaustion, which could be the result of daily life and late night exercise, can interfere with good sleep.
(Check out some tips from WebMD on coping with exhaustion and sleep.)
Sources:http://firstaid.webmd.com/body-temperature
by Fiora Stevens on February 12, 2013
Conventional wisdom says don’t exercise at night. After all, doesn’t exercise get your heart racing and activate hormones that aren’t exactly sleep inducing? Well, yes and no. Let’s take a deeper dive into this question and separate some of the myths from science.
There are four main reasons that many people use to argue that you shouldn’t exercise at night:
Exercise increases your body’s core temperature for 4-5 hours.
Exercise releases endorphins.
Exercise increases epinephrine levels.
“It just isn’t healthy.”
Let’s address these four reasons, looking at the science and rationalization behind them.
Core Temperature
Your body maintains a core temperature of 98.6 ºF, which is healthy for most people. Exercise will raise your body’s core temperature, which is perfectly normal and healthy. In extreme cases, body temperature can even go as high as 104 ºF (which is unhealthy). However, rest and hydration will bring your body temperature back down to normal.
It takes 4-5 hours for your body to return to its normal, resting temperature. However, after thirty minutes to an hour, depending on the intensity of your workout, your body should feel normal – not warm enough to interfere with your sleep.
Endorphins
Many people who are against working out at night claim that the release of endorphins, which happens in exercise, makes it more difficult to sleep. However, other scientific studies have revealed that the release of endorphins through sex actually helps you sleep. It seems that endorphins themselves aren’t the problem. Rather, people are more prone to shirk the responsibilities of exercise and enjoy the pleasures of sex before going to bed!
Epinephrine Levels
It’s well known that epinephrine/adrenaline increases during exercise. The question is, does the presence of epinephrine last long enough to interfere with sleep? Generally speaking, once your heart rate has returned to normal (which should happen a half hour after exercise) the epinephrine in your body should have stabilized. Bottom line? Finish workouts at least a half hour before you want to go to bed.
“Just Not Healthy”
This is an excuse spoken by people who are either ignorant about science or lazy. Don’t let them stop you from pursuing optimum health with a workout routine. If you can only workout at night, that’s okay. We encourage you to go for it!
Why All the Argument Against Night Time Exercising?
Most experts tend to agree that the reason exercising at night has gotten such a bad rap is that most people are looking for an excuse not to exercise! If the evening is the only available time in your schedule, it’s easy to dismiss exercise in the name of sleep.
Plus, if you’re already exhausted, exercise will only make you more tired. And, contrary to what you might expect, being completely exhausted does not mean better sleep. Over-exhaustion, which could be the result of daily life and late night exercise, can interfere with good sleep.
(Check out some tips from WebMD on coping with exhaustion and sleep.)
Sources:http://firstaid.webmd.com/body-temperature
Why Can Some Kids Handle Pressure While Others Fall Apart?
Why Can Some Kids Handle Pressure While Others Fall Apart?
Platon for The New York Times
By PO BRONSON and ASHLEY MERRYMAN
February 6, 2013
Noah Muthler took his first state standardized test in third grade at the Spring Cove Elementary School in Roaring Spring, Pa. It was a miserable experience, said his mother, Kathleen Muthler. He was a good student in a program for gifted children. But, Muthler said, “he was crying in my arms the night before the test, saying: ‘I’m not ready, Mom. They didn’t teach us everything that will be on the test.’ ” In fourth grade, he was upset the whole week before the exam. “He manifests it physically,” his mother said. “He got headaches and stomachaches. He would ask not to go to school.” Not a good sleeper anyway, Noah would slip downstairs after an hour tossing in bed and ask his mom to lie down with him until he fell asleep. In fifth grade, the anxiety lasted a solid month before the test. “Even after the test, he couldn’t let it go. He would wonder about questions he feared he misunderstood,” Muthler said.
So this year, Muthler is opting Noah out of the Pennsylvania System of School Assessment, using a broad religious and ethical exemption. Just knowing he won’t be taking the tests in March has put Noah in a better frame of mind about school. “The pressure is off his shoulders now,” his mother said. When he doesn’t grasp a concept immediately, he can talk it through without any panic. “He looks forward to science class and math class again,” Muthler said. “He wants to be a chemical or nuclear engineer.”
Muthler understands Noah’s distress; more mysterious is why her son Jacob, who is in eighth grade, isn’t the least bit unnerved by the same tests. He, too, is in the gifted program, but that seems to give him breezy confidence, not fear. “You would think he doesn’t even care,” Muthler marveled. “Noah has the panic and anxiety for both of them.” Nevertheless, she will opt out Jacob from the tests, too, to be consistent.
Never before has the pressure to perform on high-stakes tests been so intense or meant so much for a child’s academic future. As more school districts strive for accountability, standardized tests have proliferated. The pressure to do well on achievement tests for college is filtering its way down to lower grades, so that even third graders feel as if they are on trial. Students get the message that class work isn’t what counts, and that the standardized exam is the truer measure. Sure, you did your homework and wrote a great history report — but this test is going to find out how smart you really are. Critics argue that all this test-taking is churning out sleep-deprived, overworked, miserable children.
But some children actually do better under competitive, stressful circumstances. Why can Jacob thrive under pressure, while it undoes Noah? And how should that difference inform the way we think about high-stakes testing? An emerging field of research — and a pioneering study from Taiwan — has begun to offer some clues.
Like any kind of human behavior, our response to competitive pressure is derived from a complex set of factors — how we were raised, our skills and experience, the hormones that we marinated in as fetuses. There is also a genetic component: One particular gene, referred to as the COMT gene, could to a large degree explain why one child is more prone to be a worrier, while another may be unflappable, or in the memorable phrasing of David Goldman, a geneticist at the National Institutes of Health, more of a warrior.
Understanding their propensity to become stressed and how to deal with it can help children compete. Stress turns out to be far more complicated than we’ve assumed, and far more under our control than we imagine. Unlike long-term stress, short-term stress can actually help people perform, and viewing it that way changes its effect. Even for those genetically predisposed to anxiety, the antidote isn’t necessarily less competition — it’s more competition. It just needs to be the right kind.
Every May in Taiwan, more than 200,000 ninth-grade children take the Basic Competency Test for Junior High School Students. This is not just any test. The scores will determine which high school the students are admitted to — or if they get into one at all. Only 39 percent of Taiwanese children make the cut, with the rest diverted to vocational schools or backup private schools. The test, in essence, determines the future for Taiwanese children.
The test is incredibly difficult; answering the multiple-choice questions requires knowledge of chemistry, physics, advanced algebra and geometry, and testing lasts for two days. “Many students go to cram school almost every night to study all the subjects on the test,” says Chun-Yen Chang, director of the Science Education Center at National Taiwan Normal University. “Just one or two percentage points difference will drag you from the No. 1 high school in the local region down to No. 3 or 4.”
Platon for The New York Times
By PO BRONSON and ASHLEY MERRYMAN
February 6, 2013
Noah Muthler took his first state standardized test in third grade at the Spring Cove Elementary School in Roaring Spring, Pa. It was a miserable experience, said his mother, Kathleen Muthler. He was a good student in a program for gifted children. But, Muthler said, “he was crying in my arms the night before the test, saying: ‘I’m not ready, Mom. They didn’t teach us everything that will be on the test.’ ” In fourth grade, he was upset the whole week before the exam. “He manifests it physically,” his mother said. “He got headaches and stomachaches. He would ask not to go to school.” Not a good sleeper anyway, Noah would slip downstairs after an hour tossing in bed and ask his mom to lie down with him until he fell asleep. In fifth grade, the anxiety lasted a solid month before the test. “Even after the test, he couldn’t let it go. He would wonder about questions he feared he misunderstood,” Muthler said.
So this year, Muthler is opting Noah out of the Pennsylvania System of School Assessment, using a broad religious and ethical exemption. Just knowing he won’t be taking the tests in March has put Noah in a better frame of mind about school. “The pressure is off his shoulders now,” his mother said. When he doesn’t grasp a concept immediately, he can talk it through without any panic. “He looks forward to science class and math class again,” Muthler said. “He wants to be a chemical or nuclear engineer.”
Muthler understands Noah’s distress; more mysterious is why her son Jacob, who is in eighth grade, isn’t the least bit unnerved by the same tests. He, too, is in the gifted program, but that seems to give him breezy confidence, not fear. “You would think he doesn’t even care,” Muthler marveled. “Noah has the panic and anxiety for both of them.” Nevertheless, she will opt out Jacob from the tests, too, to be consistent.
Never before has the pressure to perform on high-stakes tests been so intense or meant so much for a child’s academic future. As more school districts strive for accountability, standardized tests have proliferated. The pressure to do well on achievement tests for college is filtering its way down to lower grades, so that even third graders feel as if they are on trial. Students get the message that class work isn’t what counts, and that the standardized exam is the truer measure. Sure, you did your homework and wrote a great history report — but this test is going to find out how smart you really are. Critics argue that all this test-taking is churning out sleep-deprived, overworked, miserable children.
But some children actually do better under competitive, stressful circumstances. Why can Jacob thrive under pressure, while it undoes Noah? And how should that difference inform the way we think about high-stakes testing? An emerging field of research — and a pioneering study from Taiwan — has begun to offer some clues.
Like any kind of human behavior, our response to competitive pressure is derived from a complex set of factors — how we were raised, our skills and experience, the hormones that we marinated in as fetuses. There is also a genetic component: One particular gene, referred to as the COMT gene, could to a large degree explain why one child is more prone to be a worrier, while another may be unflappable, or in the memorable phrasing of David Goldman, a geneticist at the National Institutes of Health, more of a warrior.
Understanding their propensity to become stressed and how to deal with it can help children compete. Stress turns out to be far more complicated than we’ve assumed, and far more under our control than we imagine. Unlike long-term stress, short-term stress can actually help people perform, and viewing it that way changes its effect. Even for those genetically predisposed to anxiety, the antidote isn’t necessarily less competition — it’s more competition. It just needs to be the right kind.
Every May in Taiwan, more than 200,000 ninth-grade children take the Basic Competency Test for Junior High School Students. This is not just any test. The scores will determine which high school the students are admitted to — or if they get into one at all. Only 39 percent of Taiwanese children make the cut, with the rest diverted to vocational schools or backup private schools. The test, in essence, determines the future for Taiwanese children.
The test is incredibly difficult; answering the multiple-choice questions requires knowledge of chemistry, physics, advanced algebra and geometry, and testing lasts for two days. “Many students go to cram school almost every night to study all the subjects on the test,” says Chun-Yen Chang, director of the Science Education Center at National Taiwan Normal University. “Just one or two percentage points difference will drag you from the No. 1 high school in the local region down to No. 3 or 4.”
6 Habits of Remarkably Likable People
6 Habits of Remarkably Likable People
They're charming. They're genuine. And they can make an entire room full of people smile.
When you meet someone, after, "What do you do?" you're out of things to say. You suck at small talk, and those first five minutes are tough because you're a little shy and a little insecure.
But you want to make a good impression. You want people to genuinely like you.
Here's how remarkably likeable people do it:
They lose the power pose.
I know: Your parents taught you to stand tall, square your shoulders, stride purposefully forward, drop your voice a couple of registers, and shake hands with a firm grip.
It's great to display nonverbal self-confidence, but go too far and it seems like you're trying to establish your importance. That makes the "meeting" seem like it's more about you than it is the other person--and no one likes that.
No matter how big a deal you are you pale in comparison to say, oh, Nelson Mandela. So take a cue from him. Watch how he greets Bill Clinton, no slouch at this either.
Clinton takes a step forward (avoiding the "you must come to me" power move); Mandela steps forward with a smile and bends slightly forward as if, ever so slightly, to bow (a clear sign of deference and respect in nearly every culture); Clinton does the same. What you have are two important people who put aside all sense of self-importance or status. They're genuine.
Next time you meet someone, relax, step forward, tilt your head towards them slightly, smile, and show that you're the one who is honored by the introduction--not them.
We all like people who like us. If I show you I'm genuinely happy to meet you, you'll instantly start to like me. (And you'll show that you do, which will help calm my nerves and let me be myself.)
They embrace the power of touch.
Nonsexual touch can be very powerful. (Yes, I'm aware that sexual touch can be powerful too.) Touch can influence behavior, increase the chances of compliance, make the person doing the touching seem more attractive and friendly.
Go easy, of course: Pat the other person lightly on the upper arm or shoulder. Make it casual and nonthreatening.
Check out Clinton's right-hand-shakes-hands-left-hand-touches-Mandela's-forearm-a-second-later handshake in the link above and tell me, combined with his posture and smile, that it doesn't come across as genuine and sincere.
Think the same won't work for you? Try this: The next time you walk up behind a person you know, touch them lightly on the shoulder as you go by. I guarantee you'll feel like a more genuine greeting was exchanged.
Touch breaks down natural barriers and decreases the real and perceived distance between you and the other person--a key component in liking and in being liked.
They whip out their social jiu-jitsu.
You meet someone. You talk for 15 minutes. You walk away thinking, "Wow, we just had a great conversation. She is awesome."
Then, when you think about it later, you realize you didn't learn a thing about the other person.
Remarkably likeable people are masters at Social Jiu-Jitsu, the ancient art of getting you to talk about yourself without you ever knowing it happened. SJJ masters are fascinated by every step you took in creating a particularly clever pivot table, by every decision you made when you transformed a 200-slide PowerPoint into a TED Talk-worthy presentation, if you do say so yourself...
SJJ masters use their interest, their politeness, and their social graces to cast an immediate spell on you.
And you like them for it.
Social jiu-jitsu is easy. Just ask the right questions. Stay open-ended and allow room for description and introspection. Ask how, or why, or who.
As soon as you learn a little about someone, ask how they did it. Or why they did it. Or what they liked about it, or what they learned from it, or what you should do if you're in a similar situation.
No one gets too much recognition. Asking the right questions implicitly shows you respect another person's opinion--and, by extension, the person.
We all like people who respect us, if only because it shows they display great judgment.
(Kidding. Sort of.)
They whip out something genuine.
Everyone is better than you at something. (Yes, that's true even for you.) Let them be better than you.
Too many people when they first meet engage in some form of penis-measuring contest. Crude reference but one that instantly calls to mind a time you saw two alpha male master-of-the business-universe types whip out their figurative rulers. (Not literally, of course. I hope you haven't seen that.)
Don't try to win the "getting to know someone" competition. Try to lose. Be complimentary. Be impressed. Admit a failing or a weakness.
You don't have to disclose your darkest secrets. If the other person says, "We just purchased a larger facility," say, "That's awesome. I have to admit I'm jealous. We've wanted to move for a couple years but haven't been able to put together the financing. How did you pull it off?"
Don't be afraid to show a little vulnerability. People may be (momentarily) impressed by the artificial, but people sincerely like the genuine.
Be the real you. People will like the real you.
They ask for nothing.
You know the moment: You're having a great conversation, you're finding things in common... and then bam! Someone plays the networking card.
And everything about your interaction changes.
Put away the hard-charging, goal-oriented, always-on kinda persona. If you have to ask for something, find a way to help the other person, then ask if you can.
Remarkably likeable people focus on what they can do for you--not for themselves.
They "close" genuinely.
"Nice to meet you," you say, nodding once as you part. That's the standard move, one that is instantly forgettable.
Instead go back to the beginning. Shake hands again. Use your free hand to gently touch the other person's forearm or shoulder. Say, "I am really glad I met you." Or say, "You know, I really enjoyed talking with you." Smile: Not that insincere salesperson smile that goes with, "Have a nice day!" but a genuine, appreciative smile.
Making a great first impression is important, but so is making a great last impression.
And they accept it isn't easy.
All this sounds simple, right? It is. But it's not easy, especially if you're shy. The standard, power pose, "Hello, how are you, good to meet you, good seeing you," shuffle feels a lot safer.
But it won't make people like you.
So accept it's hard. Accept that being a little more deferential, a little more genuine, a little more complimentary and a little more vulnerable means putting yourself out there. Accept that at first it will feel risky.
But don't worry: When you help people feel a little better about themselves--which is reason enough--they'll like you for it.
And you'll like yourself a little more, too.
Jeff Haden learned much of what he knows about business and technology as he worked his way up in the manufacturing industry. Everything else he picks up from ghostwriting books for some of the smartest leaders he knows in business. @jeff_haden
They're charming. They're genuine. And they can make an entire room full of people smile.
When you meet someone, after, "What do you do?" you're out of things to say. You suck at small talk, and those first five minutes are tough because you're a little shy and a little insecure.
But you want to make a good impression. You want people to genuinely like you.
Here's how remarkably likeable people do it:
They lose the power pose.
I know: Your parents taught you to stand tall, square your shoulders, stride purposefully forward, drop your voice a couple of registers, and shake hands with a firm grip.
It's great to display nonverbal self-confidence, but go too far and it seems like you're trying to establish your importance. That makes the "meeting" seem like it's more about you than it is the other person--and no one likes that.
No matter how big a deal you are you pale in comparison to say, oh, Nelson Mandela. So take a cue from him. Watch how he greets Bill Clinton, no slouch at this either.
Clinton takes a step forward (avoiding the "you must come to me" power move); Mandela steps forward with a smile and bends slightly forward as if, ever so slightly, to bow (a clear sign of deference and respect in nearly every culture); Clinton does the same. What you have are two important people who put aside all sense of self-importance or status. They're genuine.
Next time you meet someone, relax, step forward, tilt your head towards them slightly, smile, and show that you're the one who is honored by the introduction--not them.
We all like people who like us. If I show you I'm genuinely happy to meet you, you'll instantly start to like me. (And you'll show that you do, which will help calm my nerves and let me be myself.)
They embrace the power of touch.
Nonsexual touch can be very powerful. (Yes, I'm aware that sexual touch can be powerful too.) Touch can influence behavior, increase the chances of compliance, make the person doing the touching seem more attractive and friendly.
Go easy, of course: Pat the other person lightly on the upper arm or shoulder. Make it casual and nonthreatening.
Check out Clinton's right-hand-shakes-hands-left-hand-touches-Mandela's-forearm-a-second-later handshake in the link above and tell me, combined with his posture and smile, that it doesn't come across as genuine and sincere.
Think the same won't work for you? Try this: The next time you walk up behind a person you know, touch them lightly on the shoulder as you go by. I guarantee you'll feel like a more genuine greeting was exchanged.
Touch breaks down natural barriers and decreases the real and perceived distance between you and the other person--a key component in liking and in being liked.
They whip out their social jiu-jitsu.
You meet someone. You talk for 15 minutes. You walk away thinking, "Wow, we just had a great conversation. She is awesome."
Then, when you think about it later, you realize you didn't learn a thing about the other person.
Remarkably likeable people are masters at Social Jiu-Jitsu, the ancient art of getting you to talk about yourself without you ever knowing it happened. SJJ masters are fascinated by every step you took in creating a particularly clever pivot table, by every decision you made when you transformed a 200-slide PowerPoint into a TED Talk-worthy presentation, if you do say so yourself...
SJJ masters use their interest, their politeness, and their social graces to cast an immediate spell on you.
And you like them for it.
Social jiu-jitsu is easy. Just ask the right questions. Stay open-ended and allow room for description and introspection. Ask how, or why, or who.
As soon as you learn a little about someone, ask how they did it. Or why they did it. Or what they liked about it, or what they learned from it, or what you should do if you're in a similar situation.
No one gets too much recognition. Asking the right questions implicitly shows you respect another person's opinion--and, by extension, the person.
We all like people who respect us, if only because it shows they display great judgment.
(Kidding. Sort of.)
They whip out something genuine.
Everyone is better than you at something. (Yes, that's true even for you.) Let them be better than you.
Too many people when they first meet engage in some form of penis-measuring contest. Crude reference but one that instantly calls to mind a time you saw two alpha male master-of-the business-universe types whip out their figurative rulers. (Not literally, of course. I hope you haven't seen that.)
Don't try to win the "getting to know someone" competition. Try to lose. Be complimentary. Be impressed. Admit a failing or a weakness.
You don't have to disclose your darkest secrets. If the other person says, "We just purchased a larger facility," say, "That's awesome. I have to admit I'm jealous. We've wanted to move for a couple years but haven't been able to put together the financing. How did you pull it off?"
Don't be afraid to show a little vulnerability. People may be (momentarily) impressed by the artificial, but people sincerely like the genuine.
Be the real you. People will like the real you.
They ask for nothing.
You know the moment: You're having a great conversation, you're finding things in common... and then bam! Someone plays the networking card.
And everything about your interaction changes.
Put away the hard-charging, goal-oriented, always-on kinda persona. If you have to ask for something, find a way to help the other person, then ask if you can.
Remarkably likeable people focus on what they can do for you--not for themselves.
They "close" genuinely.
"Nice to meet you," you say, nodding once as you part. That's the standard move, one that is instantly forgettable.
Instead go back to the beginning. Shake hands again. Use your free hand to gently touch the other person's forearm or shoulder. Say, "I am really glad I met you." Or say, "You know, I really enjoyed talking with you." Smile: Not that insincere salesperson smile that goes with, "Have a nice day!" but a genuine, appreciative smile.
Making a great first impression is important, but so is making a great last impression.
And they accept it isn't easy.
All this sounds simple, right? It is. But it's not easy, especially if you're shy. The standard, power pose, "Hello, how are you, good to meet you, good seeing you," shuffle feels a lot safer.
But it won't make people like you.
So accept it's hard. Accept that being a little more deferential, a little more genuine, a little more complimentary and a little more vulnerable means putting yourself out there. Accept that at first it will feel risky.
But don't worry: When you help people feel a little better about themselves--which is reason enough--they'll like you for it.
And you'll like yourself a little more, too.
Jeff Haden learned much of what he knows about business and technology as he worked his way up in the manufacturing industry. Everything else he picks up from ghostwriting books for some of the smartest leaders he knows in business. @jeff_haden
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
THINGS TO LEARN FROM YOUR DOG
Hi Kids please learn from the dog
18 things we can learn from a dog
1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride
2. Allow the experience of fresh air and wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
4. When it is in your best interest, practice obedience.
5. Let others know when they have invaded your territory.
6. Take naps and stretch before rising.
7. Run, romp and play daily.
8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
9. Be loyal.
10. Never pretend to be something you’re not.
11. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
12. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle him or her gently.
13. Thrive on attention and love.
14. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
15. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
16. When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
17. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
18. No matter how often you’re scolded, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout, run right back and make friends.
18 things we can learn from a dog
1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride
2. Allow the experience of fresh air and wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
4. When it is in your best interest, practice obedience.
5. Let others know when they have invaded your territory.
6. Take naps and stretch before rising.
7. Run, romp and play daily.
8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
9. Be loyal.
10. Never pretend to be something you’re not.
11. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
12. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle him or her gently.
13. Thrive on attention and love.
14. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
15. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
16. When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
17. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
18. No matter how often you’re scolded, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout, run right back and make friends.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
I HAVE INDEED LEARNT
What I've Learned
We all learn things in life, sometimes the hard way.
We aren't sure who wrote this, but take a look and see how many apply to you...probably quite a few :)
I've learned- that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
I've learned- that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
I've learned- that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned- that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned- that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something.
I've learned- that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do.
I've learned- that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I've learned- that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I've learned- that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned- that you can keep going long after you can't.
I've learned- that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I've learned- that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I've learned- that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I've learned- that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I've learned- that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I've learned- that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned- that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I've learned- that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned- that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I've learned- that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned- that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I've learned- that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.
I've learned- that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.
I've learned- that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned- that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned- that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned- that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned- that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I've learned- that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I've learned- that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I've learned- that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I've learned- that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.
I've learned- that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
I've learned- that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I've learned- that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I've learned- that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
I've learned- that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
We all learn things in life, sometimes the hard way.
We aren't sure who wrote this, but take a look and see how many apply to you...probably quite a few :)
I've learned- that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
I've learned- that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
I've learned- that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned- that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned- that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something.
I've learned- that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do.
I've learned- that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I've learned- that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I've learned- that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned- that you can keep going long after you can't.
I've learned- that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I've learned- that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I've learned- that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I've learned- that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I've learned- that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I've learned- that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned- that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I've learned- that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned- that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I've learned- that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned- that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I've learned- that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.
I've learned- that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.
I've learned- that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned- that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned- that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned- that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned- that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I've learned- that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I've learned- that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I've learned- that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I've learned- that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.
I've learned- that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
I've learned- that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I've learned- that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I've learned- that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
I've learned- that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
DO NOT MOCK GOD
DID YOU KNOW THESE FACTS?
I SURE DIDN'T TILL NOW
Death is certain but the Bible speaks about untimely death!
Make a personal reflection about this......
Very interesting, read until the end......
It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7):
'Be not deceived; God is not mocked:
for whatsoever a man sow, that shall he also reap..
Here are some men and women who mocked God :
John Lennon (Singer):
Some years before, during his interview with an American Magazine, he said:
'Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that... I am certain.
Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple,
today we are more famous than Him' (1966).
Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ,
was shot six times.
Tancredo Neves (President of Brazil )
During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes
from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency.
Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before being made President, then he died.
Cazuza (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet):
During a show in Canecio ( Rio de Janeiro ),while smoking his cigarette,
he puffed out some smoke into the air and said: 'God, that's for you.'
He died at the age of 32 of LUNG CANCER in a horrible manner.
The man who built the Titanic
After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be.
With an ironic tone he said:'Not even God can sink it'
The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic
Marilyn Monroe (Actress)
She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show.
He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her.
After hearing what the Preacher had to say,
she said: 'I don't need your Jesus'.
A week later, she was found dead in her apartment
Bon Scott (Singer)
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC
On one of his 1979 songs he sang:
'Don't stop me; I'm going down all the way, down the highway to hell'.
On the 19th of February 1980,
Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit.
Campinas (IN 2005)
In Campinas , Brazil , a group of friends, drunk,went to pick up a friend......
The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends
and she said to the daughter holding her hand, who was already seated in the car:
'My Daughter, Go With God And May He Protect You.'
She responded: 'Only If He (God) travels In the trunk, cause inside here.....
It's already full.'
Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident,
everyone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been,
but surprisingly, the trunk was intact.
The police said there was no way the trunk could have remained intact.
To their surprise, inside the trunk was a crate of eggs, none was broken
Christine Hewitt (Jamaican Journalist and entertainer)
said the Bible (Word of God) was the worst book ever written.
In June 2006 she was found burnt beyond recognition in her motor vehicle.
Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other name
that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus.
Many have died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive.
'Jesus'
PS: If it was a joke, you would have sent it to everyone.
So are you going to have courage to send this?.
I have done my part, Jesus said
'If you are embarrassed about me, I will also be embarrassed about you before my father.'
You are my 8 in 8 seconds. I am not breaking this. No way!
I'M TOLD THIS WORKS!!!!!
Bishop T.D. Jakes '8 Second Prayer.'
Just repeat this prayer and see how God moves!!
'Lord, I love you and I need you,
come into my heart, and bless me,
my family, my home, and my friends,
in Jesus' name.
Amen.'
You will receive a miracle tomorrow AND let God bless you.
I SURE DIDN'T TILL NOW
Death is certain but the Bible speaks about untimely death!
Make a personal reflection about this......
Very interesting, read until the end......
It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7):
'Be not deceived; God is not mocked:
for whatsoever a man sow, that shall he also reap..
Here are some men and women who mocked God :
John Lennon (Singer):
Some years before, during his interview with an American Magazine, he said:
'Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that... I am certain.
Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple,
today we are more famous than Him' (1966).
Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ,
was shot six times.
Tancredo Neves (President of Brazil )
During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes
from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency.
Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before being made President, then he died.
Cazuza (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet):
During a show in Canecio ( Rio de Janeiro ),while smoking his cigarette,
he puffed out some smoke into the air and said: 'God, that's for you.'
He died at the age of 32 of LUNG CANCER in a horrible manner.
The man who built the Titanic
After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be.
With an ironic tone he said:'Not even God can sink it'
The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic
Marilyn Monroe (Actress)
She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show.
He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her.
After hearing what the Preacher had to say,
she said: 'I don't need your Jesus'.
A week later, she was found dead in her apartment
Bon Scott (Singer)
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC
On one of his 1979 songs he sang:
'Don't stop me; I'm going down all the way, down the highway to hell'.
On the 19th of February 1980,
Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit.
Campinas (IN 2005)
In Campinas , Brazil , a group of friends, drunk,went to pick up a friend......
The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends
and she said to the daughter holding her hand, who was already seated in the car:
'My Daughter, Go With God And May He Protect You.'
She responded: 'Only If He (God) travels In the trunk, cause inside here.....
It's already full.'
Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident,
everyone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been,
but surprisingly, the trunk was intact.
The police said there was no way the trunk could have remained intact.
To their surprise, inside the trunk was a crate of eggs, none was broken
Christine Hewitt (Jamaican Journalist and entertainer)
said the Bible (Word of God) was the worst book ever written.
In June 2006 she was found burnt beyond recognition in her motor vehicle.
Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other name
that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus.
Many have died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive.
'Jesus'
PS: If it was a joke, you would have sent it to everyone.
So are you going to have courage to send this?.
I have done my part, Jesus said
'If you are embarrassed about me, I will also be embarrassed about you before my father.'
You are my 8 in 8 seconds. I am not breaking this. No way!
I'M TOLD THIS WORKS!!!!!
Bishop T.D. Jakes '8 Second Prayer.'
Just repeat this prayer and see how God moves!!
'Lord, I love you and I need you,
come into my heart, and bless me,
my family, my home, and my friends,
in Jesus' name.
Amen.'
You will receive a miracle tomorrow AND let God bless you.
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