Sweet words are easy to say... Sweet things are easy to buy... But... Sweet people are difficult to find....
Life ends when you stop dreaming...
Hope ends when you stop believing...
Love ends when you stop caring.....
Friendship ends when you stop sharing.....
So share this with whoever you consider a friend...
To love without condition.....
To talk without intention.....
To bless without regret.....
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
wise sayings from lao tzu
“Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses.”
“Anticipate the difficult by managing the easy”
“He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still”
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”
“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.”
“One can not reflect in streaming water. Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.”
“Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.”
“At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.”
“Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”
“Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.”
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
“The words of truth are always paradoxical.”
“Respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment.”
“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”
“Great acts are made up of small deeds.”
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”
“If you would take, you must first give, this is the beginning of intelligence.”
“Life and death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides.”
“To lead people, walk beside them... As for the best leaders, the people do not notice their existence. The next best, the people honor and praise. The next, the people fear; and the next, the people hate... When the best leader's work is done the people say, 'We did it ourselves!'”
“A good traveller has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.”
“Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.”
“One who is too insistent on his own views, finds few to agree with him.”
“He who is contented is rich”
“To realize that you do not understand is a virtue; Not to realize that you do not understand is a defect.”
“From caring comes courage”
“Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it”
“To know yet to think that one does not know is best; Not to know yet to think that one knows will lead to difficulty.”
“I do not concern myself with gods and spirits either good or evil nor do I serve any”
“He who talks more is sooner exhausted”
“When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.”
“He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.”
“Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment.”
“To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.”
“He who obtains has little. He who scatters has much.”
“I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.”
“When virtue is lost, benevolence appears, when benevolence is lost right conduct appears, when right conduct is lost, expedience appears. Expediency is the mere shadow of right and truth; it is the beginning of disorder.”
“Knowing others is wisdom; Knowing the self is enlightenment; Mastering others requires force; Mastering the self needs strength”
“Truthful words are not beautiful; beautiful words are not truthful. Good words are not persuasive; persuasive words are not good.”
“He who does not trust enough, Will not be trusted”
“He who conquers others is strong; He who conquers himself is mighty”
“The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be.”
“Doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing”
“The way to do is to be.”
“He who has no faith in others shall find no faith in them”
“The power of intuitive understanding will protect you from harm until the end of your days.”
“An ant on the move does more than a dozing ox.”
“Without stirring abroad, one can know the whole world; Without looking out of the window one can see the way of heaven. The further one goes the less one knows.”
“The well-run group is not a battlefield of egos.”
“Nothing in the world is more flexible and yielding than water. Yet when it attacks the firm and the strong, none can withstand it, because they have no way to change it. So the flexible overcome the adamant, the yielding overcome the forceful. Everyone knows this, but no one can do it.”
“To see things in the seed, that is genius.”
“A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.”
“Manifest plainness, Embrace simplicity, Reduce selfishness, Have few desires”
“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.”
“For the wise man looks into space and he knows there is no limited dimensions.”
“One may know the world without going out of doors”
“I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize. The first is gentleness; the second is frugality; the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others. Be gentle and you can be bold; be frugal and you can be liberal; avoid putting yourself before others and you can become a leader among men.”
“Activity conquers cold, but stillness conquers heat”
“One who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.”
“Those who have knowledge, don't predict. Those who predict, don't have knowledge.”
“Born to be wild - live to outgrow it.”
“He who accounts all things easy will have many difficulties”
“Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it.”
“Kindness in giving creates love.”
“To lead the people, walk behind them.”
“Silence is a source of great strength.”
“From wonder into wonder existence opens.”
“When the effective leader is finished with his work, the people say it happened naturally.”
“When the best leader's work is done the people say, ''We did it ourselves.''”
“Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins.”
“Because of deep love, one is courageous. Because of frugality, one is generous. Because of not daring to be ahead of the world, one becomes the leader of the world.”
“The sage does not hoard. The more he helps others, the more he benefits himself, The more he gives to others, the more he gets himself. The Way of Heaven does one good but never does one harm. The Way of the sage is to act but not to compete.”
“People in their handling of affairs often fail when they are about to succeed. If one remains as careful at the end as he was at the beginning, there will be no failure.”
“A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.”
“Muddy water, let stand - becomes clear”
“The sage wears clothes of coarse cloth but carries jewels in his bosom; He knows himself but does not display himself; He loves himself but does not hold himself in high esteem”
“There are many paths to enlightenment. Be sure to take one with a heart.”
“Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.”
“A good manager is best when people barely know that he exists. Not so good when people obey and acclaim him. Worse when they despise him.”
“All difficult things have their origin in that which is easy, and great things in that which is small.”
He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.”
“Great indeed is the sublimity of the Creative, to which all beings owe their beginning and which permeates all heaven.”
“Treat those who are good with goodness, and also treat those who are not good with goodness. Thus goodness is attained. Be honest to those who are honest, and be also honest to those who are not honest. Thus honesty is attained...”
“The supreme excellence is not to win a hundred victories in a hundred battles. The supreme excellence is to subdue the armies of your enemies without even having to fight them.”
“The people are hungry: It is because those in authority eat up too much in taxes.”
“Nature is not human hearted.”
“The wicked leader is he who the people despise. The good leader is he who the people revere. The great leader is he who the people say, we did it ourselves.”
“Those who make their living by collecting taxes cause the people to starve; when the people starve, the tax collectors, having no one to tax starve also”
“In the world there is nothing more submissive and weak than water. Yet for attacking that which is hard and strong nothing can surpass it.”
“For all things difficult to acquire, the intelligent man works with perseverance.”
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.”
“He who possess virtue in abundance may be compared to an infant”
“The reason why the universe is eternal is that it does not live for itself; it gives life to others as it transforms”
“Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend. Non-being is the greatest joy.”
“He who gains a victory over other men is strong; but he who gains a victory over himself is all powerful.”
“From of old the things that have acquired unity are these: Heaven by unity has become clear; Earth by unity has become steady; The Spirit by unity has become spiritual; The Valley by unity has become full; All things by unity have come into existence.”
“The name that can be named is not the eternal Name.”
“The wise man does not lay up his own treasures. The more he gives to others, the more he has for his own.”
“By accident of fortune a man may rule the world for a time, but by virtue of love he may rule the world forever”
“Clay is molded to form a cup, But it is on its non-being that the utility of the cup depends. Doors and windows are cut out to make a room, But it is on its non-being that the utility of the room depends. Therefore turn being into advantage, and turn non-being into utility.”
“Such is the essential mystery.”
“Fail to honor people,they fail to honor you; but of a good leader, who talks little, when his work is done, his aims fulfilled, they will all say, 'We did this ourselves.'”
“The leader shows that style is no substitute for substance, that creating an impression is more potent than acting from one's center.”
“The career of a sage is of two kinds: He is either honored by all in the world, Like a flower waving its head, Or else he disappears into the silent forest.”
“The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white. Neither need you do anything but be yourself.”
“A tree trunk the size of a man grows from a blade as thin as a hair. A tower nine stories high is built from a small heap of earth.”
“Pride attaches undue importance to the superiority of one's status in the eyes of others; And shame is fear of humiliation at one's inferior status in the estimation of others. When one sets his heart on being highly esteemed, and achieves such rating, then he is automatically involved in fear of losing his status.”
“Ambition has one heel nailed in well, though she stretch her fingers to touch the heavens.”
“Go to the people. Live with them. Learn from them. Love them. Start with what they know. Build with what they have. But with the best leaders, when the work is done, the task accomplished, the people will say "We have done this ourselves".”
“Rule a kingdom as though you were cooking a small fish - don't overdo it”
“Of all that is good, sublimity is supreme. Succeeding is the coming together of all that is beautiful. Furtherance is the agreement of all that is just. Perseverance is the foundation of all actions.”
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist in whatever way they like.”
“The journey of a thousand leagues begins with a single step.”
“Acting without design, occupying oneself without making a business of it, finding the great in what is small and the many in the few, repaying injury with kindness, effecting difficult things while they are easy, and managing great things in their be”
“Advise the ruler to govern the state as one cooks a small fish - that is, don't turn it so often in the pan that it disintegrates”
“The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness into our awareness.”
“When armies are mobilized and issues joined, the man who is sorry over the fact will win”
“Governing a great nation is like cooking a small fish - too much handling will spoil it.”
“The farther you go, the less you know”
“Be the chief but never the lord.”
“Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.”
“He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.”
“A thousand miles starts from beneath one's feet.”
“Darkness within darkness. The gateway to all understanding.”
“Naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
“He who knows he has enough is rich.”
“To perceive things in the germ is intelligence”
“To have little is to possess.
To have plenty is to be perplexed.”
“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”
“A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.”
“Heaven and earth are ruthless and treat the myriad creatures as straw dogs.”
“Because of a great love, one is courageous.”
“As soon as you have made a thought, laugh at it.”
“The Way of Heaven does not compete, and yet it skillfully achieves victory.”
“Simulated disorder postulates perfect discipline; simulated fear postulates courage; simulated weakness postulates strength.”
“Favor and disgrace are like fear. Favor is in a higher place, and disgrace in a lower place. When you win them you are like being in fear, and when you lose them you are also like being in fear. So favor and disgrace are like fear.”
“If the Great Way perishes there will morality and duty. When cleverness and knowledge arise great lies will flourish. When relatives fall out with one another there will be filial duty and love. When states are in confusion there will be faithful servants.”
“The Way is empty yet use will not drain it.”
“It is the Vague and Elusive. Meet it and you will not see its head. Follow it and you will not see its back.”
“How could man rejoice in victory and delight in the slaughter of men?”
“Violence, even well intentioned, always rebounds upon oneself.”
“To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.”
“Tao invariably takes no action, and yet there is nothing left undone.”
“He who knows others is learned; he who knows himself is wise.”
“The softest things in the world to overcome the hardest things in the world.”
“To know men is to be wise; to know oneself is to be illumined”
“Anticipate the difficult by managing the easy”
“He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still”
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”
“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.”
“One can not reflect in streaming water. Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.”
“Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.”
“At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.”
“Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”
“Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.”
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
“The words of truth are always paradoxical.”
“Respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment.”
“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”
“Great acts are made up of small deeds.”
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”
“If you would take, you must first give, this is the beginning of intelligence.”
“Life and death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides.”
“To lead people, walk beside them... As for the best leaders, the people do not notice their existence. The next best, the people honor and praise. The next, the people fear; and the next, the people hate... When the best leader's work is done the people say, 'We did it ourselves!'”
“A good traveller has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.”
“Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.”
“One who is too insistent on his own views, finds few to agree with him.”
“He who is contented is rich”
“To realize that you do not understand is a virtue; Not to realize that you do not understand is a defect.”
“From caring comes courage”
“Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it”
“To know yet to think that one does not know is best; Not to know yet to think that one knows will lead to difficulty.”
“I do not concern myself with gods and spirits either good or evil nor do I serve any”
“He who talks more is sooner exhausted”
“When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.”
“He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.”
“Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment.”
“To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.”
“He who obtains has little. He who scatters has much.”
“I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.”
“When virtue is lost, benevolence appears, when benevolence is lost right conduct appears, when right conduct is lost, expedience appears. Expediency is the mere shadow of right and truth; it is the beginning of disorder.”
“Knowing others is wisdom; Knowing the self is enlightenment; Mastering others requires force; Mastering the self needs strength”
“Truthful words are not beautiful; beautiful words are not truthful. Good words are not persuasive; persuasive words are not good.”
“He who does not trust enough, Will not be trusted”
“He who conquers others is strong; He who conquers himself is mighty”
“The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be.”
“Doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing”
“The way to do is to be.”
“He who has no faith in others shall find no faith in them”
“The power of intuitive understanding will protect you from harm until the end of your days.”
“An ant on the move does more than a dozing ox.”
“Without stirring abroad, one can know the whole world; Without looking out of the window one can see the way of heaven. The further one goes the less one knows.”
“The well-run group is not a battlefield of egos.”
“Nothing in the world is more flexible and yielding than water. Yet when it attacks the firm and the strong, none can withstand it, because they have no way to change it. So the flexible overcome the adamant, the yielding overcome the forceful. Everyone knows this, but no one can do it.”
“To see things in the seed, that is genius.”
“A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.”
“Manifest plainness, Embrace simplicity, Reduce selfishness, Have few desires”
“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.”
“For the wise man looks into space and he knows there is no limited dimensions.”
“One may know the world without going out of doors”
“I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize. The first is gentleness; the second is frugality; the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others. Be gentle and you can be bold; be frugal and you can be liberal; avoid putting yourself before others and you can become a leader among men.”
“Activity conquers cold, but stillness conquers heat”
“One who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.”
“Those who have knowledge, don't predict. Those who predict, don't have knowledge.”
“Born to be wild - live to outgrow it.”
“He who accounts all things easy will have many difficulties”
“Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it.”
“Kindness in giving creates love.”
“To lead the people, walk behind them.”
“Silence is a source of great strength.”
“From wonder into wonder existence opens.”
“When the effective leader is finished with his work, the people say it happened naturally.”
“When the best leader's work is done the people say, ''We did it ourselves.''”
“Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins.”
“Because of deep love, one is courageous. Because of frugality, one is generous. Because of not daring to be ahead of the world, one becomes the leader of the world.”
“The sage does not hoard. The more he helps others, the more he benefits himself, The more he gives to others, the more he gets himself. The Way of Heaven does one good but never does one harm. The Way of the sage is to act but not to compete.”
“People in their handling of affairs often fail when they are about to succeed. If one remains as careful at the end as he was at the beginning, there will be no failure.”
“A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.”
“Muddy water, let stand - becomes clear”
“The sage wears clothes of coarse cloth but carries jewels in his bosom; He knows himself but does not display himself; He loves himself but does not hold himself in high esteem”
“There are many paths to enlightenment. Be sure to take one with a heart.”
“Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.”
“A good manager is best when people barely know that he exists. Not so good when people obey and acclaim him. Worse when they despise him.”
“All difficult things have their origin in that which is easy, and great things in that which is small.”
He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.”
“Great indeed is the sublimity of the Creative, to which all beings owe their beginning and which permeates all heaven.”
“Treat those who are good with goodness, and also treat those who are not good with goodness. Thus goodness is attained. Be honest to those who are honest, and be also honest to those who are not honest. Thus honesty is attained...”
“The supreme excellence is not to win a hundred victories in a hundred battles. The supreme excellence is to subdue the armies of your enemies without even having to fight them.”
“The people are hungry: It is because those in authority eat up too much in taxes.”
“Nature is not human hearted.”
“The wicked leader is he who the people despise. The good leader is he who the people revere. The great leader is he who the people say, we did it ourselves.”
“Those who make their living by collecting taxes cause the people to starve; when the people starve, the tax collectors, having no one to tax starve also”
“In the world there is nothing more submissive and weak than water. Yet for attacking that which is hard and strong nothing can surpass it.”
“For all things difficult to acquire, the intelligent man works with perseverance.”
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.”
“He who possess virtue in abundance may be compared to an infant”
“The reason why the universe is eternal is that it does not live for itself; it gives life to others as it transforms”
“Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend. Non-being is the greatest joy.”
“He who gains a victory over other men is strong; but he who gains a victory over himself is all powerful.”
“From of old the things that have acquired unity are these: Heaven by unity has become clear; Earth by unity has become steady; The Spirit by unity has become spiritual; The Valley by unity has become full; All things by unity have come into existence.”
“The name that can be named is not the eternal Name.”
“The wise man does not lay up his own treasures. The more he gives to others, the more he has for his own.”
“By accident of fortune a man may rule the world for a time, but by virtue of love he may rule the world forever”
“Clay is molded to form a cup, But it is on its non-being that the utility of the cup depends. Doors and windows are cut out to make a room, But it is on its non-being that the utility of the room depends. Therefore turn being into advantage, and turn non-being into utility.”
“Such is the essential mystery.”
“Fail to honor people,they fail to honor you; but of a good leader, who talks little, when his work is done, his aims fulfilled, they will all say, 'We did this ourselves.'”
“The leader shows that style is no substitute for substance, that creating an impression is more potent than acting from one's center.”
“The career of a sage is of two kinds: He is either honored by all in the world, Like a flower waving its head, Or else he disappears into the silent forest.”
“The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white. Neither need you do anything but be yourself.”
“A tree trunk the size of a man grows from a blade as thin as a hair. A tower nine stories high is built from a small heap of earth.”
“Pride attaches undue importance to the superiority of one's status in the eyes of others; And shame is fear of humiliation at one's inferior status in the estimation of others. When one sets his heart on being highly esteemed, and achieves such rating, then he is automatically involved in fear of losing his status.”
“Ambition has one heel nailed in well, though she stretch her fingers to touch the heavens.”
“Go to the people. Live with them. Learn from them. Love them. Start with what they know. Build with what they have. But with the best leaders, when the work is done, the task accomplished, the people will say "We have done this ourselves".”
“Rule a kingdom as though you were cooking a small fish - don't overdo it”
“Of all that is good, sublimity is supreme. Succeeding is the coming together of all that is beautiful. Furtherance is the agreement of all that is just. Perseverance is the foundation of all actions.”
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist in whatever way they like.”
“The journey of a thousand leagues begins with a single step.”
“Acting without design, occupying oneself without making a business of it, finding the great in what is small and the many in the few, repaying injury with kindness, effecting difficult things while they are easy, and managing great things in their be”
“Advise the ruler to govern the state as one cooks a small fish - that is, don't turn it so often in the pan that it disintegrates”
“The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness into our awareness.”
“When armies are mobilized and issues joined, the man who is sorry over the fact will win”
“Governing a great nation is like cooking a small fish - too much handling will spoil it.”
“The farther you go, the less you know”
“Be the chief but never the lord.”
“Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.”
“He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.”
“A thousand miles starts from beneath one's feet.”
“Darkness within darkness. The gateway to all understanding.”
“Naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
“He who knows he has enough is rich.”
“To perceive things in the germ is intelligence”
“To have little is to possess.
To have plenty is to be perplexed.”
“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”
“A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.”
“Heaven and earth are ruthless and treat the myriad creatures as straw dogs.”
“Because of a great love, one is courageous.”
“As soon as you have made a thought, laugh at it.”
“The Way of Heaven does not compete, and yet it skillfully achieves victory.”
“Simulated disorder postulates perfect discipline; simulated fear postulates courage; simulated weakness postulates strength.”
“Favor and disgrace are like fear. Favor is in a higher place, and disgrace in a lower place. When you win them you are like being in fear, and when you lose them you are also like being in fear. So favor and disgrace are like fear.”
“If the Great Way perishes there will morality and duty. When cleverness and knowledge arise great lies will flourish. When relatives fall out with one another there will be filial duty and love. When states are in confusion there will be faithful servants.”
“The Way is empty yet use will not drain it.”
“It is the Vague and Elusive. Meet it and you will not see its head. Follow it and you will not see its back.”
“How could man rejoice in victory and delight in the slaughter of men?”
“Violence, even well intentioned, always rebounds upon oneself.”
“To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.”
“Tao invariably takes no action, and yet there is nothing left undone.”
“He who knows others is learned; he who knows himself is wise.”
“The softest things in the world to overcome the hardest things in the world.”
“To know men is to be wise; to know oneself is to be illumined”
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
what is friendship
FRIENDSHIP
Friendships are relaxed, loyal relationships that involve intimacy, communication, and empathy. Friendship is a relief. Friends relate.
Friendship is an in-depth, relaxed relationship!
Friends relate.
It is an in-depth relationship combining trust, support, communication, loyalty, understanding, empathy, and intimacy.
These are certainly aspects of life that all of us crave.
Being able to trust and relax with your friend is a big part of friendship.
Remember when you were young and went with a friend to her grandma's for the week-end. It was fun but when you got home, home was wonderful. Your feeling was "I'm home. I can relax now."
That's what a friendship should be.
You go out into the world and do your best. You have your ups and downs, your problems and triumphs, your fun and tribulations. You charm and you perform.
Then you come "home" to a friend. You can relax, put up your feet; you are relieved. If you still have to be charming and/or performing, it's not a relief.
Friendship is a comfy situation like home. You get home, kick off your shoes, relax and sigh, "Ahh, home."
Being able to trust and relax with your best friend is a big part of friendship. Friendships are relationships.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A friend is friendly, happy, and playful, too. A friend doesn't yell at you. You play with each other all the time.
You try not to fight with a friend. You help each other when you get hurt.
A friend is someone who goes with you in the good times and bad times.'
Good friends are always by your side. When you're playing they don't walk away.
They never fight with you because then they aren't your friend.
If you don't have any friends then you aren't friendly.
God bless, friends.
A friend is a person who comes and won't judge a flower by its color.
A person who will never give up on you.
A person who will comfort you when storms of tears are in your mind.
A person who will just have some fun with you and give you a good laugh.'
A person that doesn't mind expressing their happy or sad feelings to you.
A friend is someone you can depend on. Someone who you can talk to. A friend could be anything like a person, dog or cat. Whatever a friend is it doesn't matter as long as it's your friend. Many people don't know that. A friend is a friend and that's all that matters.
A friend is for loving, helping, playing, and comforts you all the time. They try to love you.
A friend shares tops, popcorn and money. They don't try to ditch you and they never hurt your feeling.
A friend doesn't boss you around or call you dreadful names. A friend worries about you for ever and ever.
But most of all a friend should love you. You should have a wonderful friendship forever.
A friend is someone who is spectacular! You love them deep down inside your heart. Someone who helps you when you are hurt or sad, or even if you're happy.
A friend is someone who is kind to you and knows how you feel when you are scared.
A friend is someone who cares and helps you when you are in trouble or when you are hurt.
A friend comes in different ways.
A friend will always remember you in their heart and you will remember them, too.
A friend is someone who doesn't dump you and who helps you when you get hurt. Someone who says they are sorry when they do something to hurt your feelings.
Someone who doesn't make fun of you or your name.
A friend is someone who shares his toys with you and helps you when you need help in reading or writing.
A friend is someone who helps you and is loving. They make sure you are okay and plays with you. They don't make fun of you. Forgive them when they get into a fight with you.
A friend is someone who doesn't tell you to do bad things.
A friend is someone who likes you and everything you do.
A friend is someone who likes your room.
A friend is a person who cares about you. He would let you borrow stuff, and wouldn't say mean things. He would be by your side and would not let you down.
A friend is someone who cares about you, plays with you and sticks up for you if someone is mean to you.
A friend is someone that never makes fun of you. They help you, share with you and never boss you around. I also think a friend is someone who never hurts you and cares for you.
A friend to me is like a hug! It is very special.
A friend is someone who cares for people. Friends are people who are thoughtful. They help you when you're hurt.
A friend is someone who is thoughtful, kind, caring and helpful.
A friend is someone who you can depend on.
A friend is someone you have fun with, someone you care about and someone you love.
A friend is someone you can tell secrets to. Friends especially don't steal from each other or fight. They always help and are kind to one another.
A friend is someone who cares for you, who sticks by your side when you're lonely, who helps you up when you get hurt, but most importantly friends come in different ways.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
~ Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity. ~ Kahlil Gibran 1883
~ To find a friend one must close one eye; To keep him, two. ~ Norman
The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson, adapted
~ The only way to have a friend is to be one. ~
~ But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life; and thanks to a benevolent arrangement of things, the greater part of life is sunshine. ~
Friendships are relaxed, loyal relationships that involve intimacy, communication, and empathy. Friendship is a relief. Friends relate.
Friendship is an in-depth, relaxed relationship!
Friends relate.
It is an in-depth relationship combining trust, support, communication, loyalty, understanding, empathy, and intimacy.
These are certainly aspects of life that all of us crave.
Being able to trust and relax with your friend is a big part of friendship.
Remember when you were young and went with a friend to her grandma's for the week-end. It was fun but when you got home, home was wonderful. Your feeling was "I'm home. I can relax now."
That's what a friendship should be.
You go out into the world and do your best. You have your ups and downs, your problems and triumphs, your fun and tribulations. You charm and you perform.
Then you come "home" to a friend. You can relax, put up your feet; you are relieved. If you still have to be charming and/or performing, it's not a relief.
Friendship is a comfy situation like home. You get home, kick off your shoes, relax and sigh, "Ahh, home."
Being able to trust and relax with your best friend is a big part of friendship. Friendships are relationships.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A friend is friendly, happy, and playful, too. A friend doesn't yell at you. You play with each other all the time.
You try not to fight with a friend. You help each other when you get hurt.
A friend is someone who goes with you in the good times and bad times.'
Good friends are always by your side. When you're playing they don't walk away.
They never fight with you because then they aren't your friend.
If you don't have any friends then you aren't friendly.
God bless, friends.
A friend is a person who comes and won't judge a flower by its color.
A person who will never give up on you.
A person who will comfort you when storms of tears are in your mind.
A person who will just have some fun with you and give you a good laugh.'
A person that doesn't mind expressing their happy or sad feelings to you.
A friend is someone you can depend on. Someone who you can talk to. A friend could be anything like a person, dog or cat. Whatever a friend is it doesn't matter as long as it's your friend. Many people don't know that. A friend is a friend and that's all that matters.
A friend is for loving, helping, playing, and comforts you all the time. They try to love you.
A friend shares tops, popcorn and money. They don't try to ditch you and they never hurt your feeling.
A friend doesn't boss you around or call you dreadful names. A friend worries about you for ever and ever.
But most of all a friend should love you. You should have a wonderful friendship forever.
A friend is someone who is spectacular! You love them deep down inside your heart. Someone who helps you when you are hurt or sad, or even if you're happy.
A friend is someone who is kind to you and knows how you feel when you are scared.
A friend is someone who cares and helps you when you are in trouble or when you are hurt.
A friend comes in different ways.
A friend will always remember you in their heart and you will remember them, too.
A friend is someone who doesn't dump you and who helps you when you get hurt. Someone who says they are sorry when they do something to hurt your feelings.
Someone who doesn't make fun of you or your name.
A friend is someone who shares his toys with you and helps you when you need help in reading or writing.
A friend is someone who helps you and is loving. They make sure you are okay and plays with you. They don't make fun of you. Forgive them when they get into a fight with you.
A friend is someone who doesn't tell you to do bad things.
A friend is someone who likes you and everything you do.
A friend is someone who likes your room.
A friend is a person who cares about you. He would let you borrow stuff, and wouldn't say mean things. He would be by your side and would not let you down.
A friend is someone who cares about you, plays with you and sticks up for you if someone is mean to you.
A friend is someone that never makes fun of you. They help you, share with you and never boss you around. I also think a friend is someone who never hurts you and cares for you.
A friend to me is like a hug! It is very special.
A friend is someone who cares for people. Friends are people who are thoughtful. They help you when you're hurt.
A friend is someone who is thoughtful, kind, caring and helpful.
A friend is someone who you can depend on.
A friend is someone you have fun with, someone you care about and someone you love.
A friend is someone you can tell secrets to. Friends especially don't steal from each other or fight. They always help and are kind to one another.
A friend is someone who cares for you, who sticks by your side when you're lonely, who helps you up when you get hurt, but most importantly friends come in different ways.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
~ Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity. ~ Kahlil Gibran 1883
~ To find a friend one must close one eye; To keep him, two. ~ Norman
The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson, adapted
~ The only way to have a friend is to be one. ~
~ But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life; and thanks to a benevolent arrangement of things, the greater part of life is sunshine. ~
JUST RESPECT ONE ANOTHER
What Respect Is
Respect is...
Respect means a lot of different things. On a practical level it seems to include taking someone's feelings, needs, thoughts, ideas, wishes and preferences into consideration. We might also say it means taking all of these seriously and giving them worth and value. In fact, giving someone respect seems similar to valuing them and their thoughts, feelings, etc. It also seems to include acknowledging them, listening to them, being truthful with them, and accepting their individuality and idiosyncrasies.
Respect can be shown through behavior and it can also be felt. We can act in ways which are considered respectful, yet we can also feel respect for someone and feel respected by someone. Because it is possible to act in ways that do not reflect how we really feel, the feeling of respect is more important than the behavior without the feeling. When the feeling is there, the behavior will naturally follow.
Respect is...listening with out interrupting
Respect is...taking your partner's feelings into consideration
Respect is...keeping an open mind
Respect is...agreeing to disagree
Respect is...trying to understand your partner's viewpoint
Respect is...loving yourself
Respect is...trust and honesty
Respect is...giving each other space
Respect is...nonviolence
Respect is...direct communication
Respect is...building a person up instead of tearing them down
Respect is...friendship
Respect is…not pressuring the other person
Why It is Important
Going back in time, respect played an important role in survival. If we think of a small tribe wandering in the desert we can imagine that a person not respected by anyone could be left behind and die. Such a person was considered to have no worth, no importance, no value to the group. This, I believe is the foundation of our psychological need to feel respected.
Nowadays it seems much more possible to survive without being respected. Someone could, for example, inherit a large sum of money, have many servants and employees and have salesmen constantly calling on him and catering to him, yet not be respected in the least. Someone could also make a lot of money through having a particular talent which is valued, such as being able to dunk a basketball yet not really be respected, perhaps because of the way he treats others.
Still, there is a value to respect which money can't buy. Though someone's life might not depend on it, there are times, many times in fact, when another person has the chance to make a personal decision - a judgment call. When that person feels sincere respect for someone else, they will make a different decision than if they feel no respect, even if they have customarily shown a false, pseudo-respect to the person.
We can all sense whether we are respected or not. This holds true for those with money and power as well. Moreover, it is quite possible that those who pursue money and power are actually trying to gain a type of respect that they never have truly felt.
When we are respected we gain the voluntary cooperation of people. We don't have to use as much of our energy and resources trying to get our needs met. When people respect one another there are fewer conflicts. In summary, it is for both evolutionary and practical reasons that respect is important, and also why we simply feel better when we are respected.
Where Respect Comes From
As I see it, respect is something that is earned. One earns another's respect by voluntarily doing the things I mentioned above, such as taking that person's feelings, needs and thoughts into consideration.
Respect seems to be like a boomerang in the sense that you must send it out before it will come back to you. Respect cannot be demanded or forced, though sometimes people mistakenly believe that it can, as I discuss below.
Since a baby has no concept of respect, and feels only its own needs when it is first born, I believe that the only successful way to teach a child what respect is, is to earn the respect of the child as they slowly grow into a thinking human being.
The way this is done is first of all by attending to the child's natural needs, such as to be fed and nurtured. As the child grows, his needs change. He has increasingly sophisticated psychological needs. He begins to express his own views, his own preferences, and he has an increasing need for freedom, autonomy and independence. This is when the adults in his life can treat him with increasing respect and thereby earn his respect in return.
It doesn't make sense to think of respecting a baby in the same way that we say we respect an adult. Yet on some level the two concepts are similar. This similarity has to do with our voluntarily helping that person with their needs. In either case, we must first accept the needs. For example, if a baby needs to be fed at three in the morning we don't do it begrudgingly if we respect his natural needs; we simply accept that the infant has a natural need to eat at that particular moment. Likewise, if an adolescent or an adult needs to talk, we accept this need and we show respect by listening voluntarily.
Below are more specific ways to show and earn respect, particularly to an older child, adolescent or adult.
Showing and Earning Respect
Respecting someone means respecting their feelings and their survival needs. Here are ways to show respect for someone's feelings:
asking them how they feel
validating their feelings
empathizing with them
seeking understanding of their feelings
taking their feelings into consideration
For this process to work efficiently several things are required. For example:
Each person must be aware of their own feelings; i.e. know how they feel.
They must be able to express their feelings.
They must know how to listen non-judgmentally & non-defensively.
They must know how to validate feelings.
They must believe that feelings have value.
They must believe that feelings matter.
If respecting someone means respecting their feelings and their survival needs, then if a person does not respect your feelings, they don't respect you. If those in positions of power and authority do not respect your needs and feelings, they will not earn your respect.
Here are some specific ways to show respect:
Asking others "How would you feel if..." before making a decision which affects them
Voluntarily making changes and compromises to accommodate their feelings, desires and needs
Not interrupting them
Soliciting and allowing feedback. Trying to understand their beliefs, values and needs
Giving them the opportunity to solve their own problems without underestimating them, in particular:
Avoid telling them what to do
Avoid telling them what they 'need' to or 'should do
Avoid giving them unsolicited advice, sermons and lectures
Remember that the most effective way of finding out how well your efforts are working is to simply ask, "On a scale of 0-10, how much do you feel respected by me?" If you have created a safe environment, you are likely to get an honest answer. Then if it is lower than 10, you can ask, "What would help you feel more respected?" Then you have the specific information you need to improve your 'rating.' I have found that most people are more than willing to express themselves when asked such a question. And the answers are typically articulate, and often surprising.
SOME QUOTES ON RESPECT
~ When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom. ~ John Gray
~ He who does not have the courage to speak up for his rights cannot earn the respect of others. ~ Rene G. Torres
~ Only those who respect the personality of others can be of real use to them. ~ Albert Schweitzer
~ We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. ~ John Gay
~ Probably no greater honor can come to any man than the respect of his colleagues. ~ Cary Grant
~ We must build a new world, a far better world - one in which the eternal dignity of man is respected. ~ Harry S. Truman
~ A youth is to be regarded with respect. How do you know that his future will not be equal to our present? ~ Confucius
~ You should respect each other and refrain from disputes; you should not, like water and oil, repel each other, but should, like milk and water, mingle together. ~ Buddha
~ Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that's real power. ~ Clint Eastwood
~ Love and respect woman. Look to her not only for comfort, but for strength and inspiration and the doubling of your intellectual and moral powers. Blot out from your mind any idea of superiority; you have none. ~ Giuseppe Mazzini
Respect is...
Respect means a lot of different things. On a practical level it seems to include taking someone's feelings, needs, thoughts, ideas, wishes and preferences into consideration. We might also say it means taking all of these seriously and giving them worth and value. In fact, giving someone respect seems similar to valuing them and their thoughts, feelings, etc. It also seems to include acknowledging them, listening to them, being truthful with them, and accepting their individuality and idiosyncrasies.
Respect can be shown through behavior and it can also be felt. We can act in ways which are considered respectful, yet we can also feel respect for someone and feel respected by someone. Because it is possible to act in ways that do not reflect how we really feel, the feeling of respect is more important than the behavior without the feeling. When the feeling is there, the behavior will naturally follow.
Respect is...listening with out interrupting
Respect is...taking your partner's feelings into consideration
Respect is...keeping an open mind
Respect is...agreeing to disagree
Respect is...trying to understand your partner's viewpoint
Respect is...loving yourself
Respect is...trust and honesty
Respect is...giving each other space
Respect is...nonviolence
Respect is...direct communication
Respect is...building a person up instead of tearing them down
Respect is...friendship
Respect is…not pressuring the other person
Why It is Important
Going back in time, respect played an important role in survival. If we think of a small tribe wandering in the desert we can imagine that a person not respected by anyone could be left behind and die. Such a person was considered to have no worth, no importance, no value to the group. This, I believe is the foundation of our psychological need to feel respected.
Nowadays it seems much more possible to survive without being respected. Someone could, for example, inherit a large sum of money, have many servants and employees and have salesmen constantly calling on him and catering to him, yet not be respected in the least. Someone could also make a lot of money through having a particular talent which is valued, such as being able to dunk a basketball yet not really be respected, perhaps because of the way he treats others.
Still, there is a value to respect which money can't buy. Though someone's life might not depend on it, there are times, many times in fact, when another person has the chance to make a personal decision - a judgment call. When that person feels sincere respect for someone else, they will make a different decision than if they feel no respect, even if they have customarily shown a false, pseudo-respect to the person.
We can all sense whether we are respected or not. This holds true for those with money and power as well. Moreover, it is quite possible that those who pursue money and power are actually trying to gain a type of respect that they never have truly felt.
When we are respected we gain the voluntary cooperation of people. We don't have to use as much of our energy and resources trying to get our needs met. When people respect one another there are fewer conflicts. In summary, it is for both evolutionary and practical reasons that respect is important, and also why we simply feel better when we are respected.
Where Respect Comes From
As I see it, respect is something that is earned. One earns another's respect by voluntarily doing the things I mentioned above, such as taking that person's feelings, needs and thoughts into consideration.
Respect seems to be like a boomerang in the sense that you must send it out before it will come back to you. Respect cannot be demanded or forced, though sometimes people mistakenly believe that it can, as I discuss below.
Since a baby has no concept of respect, and feels only its own needs when it is first born, I believe that the only successful way to teach a child what respect is, is to earn the respect of the child as they slowly grow into a thinking human being.
The way this is done is first of all by attending to the child's natural needs, such as to be fed and nurtured. As the child grows, his needs change. He has increasingly sophisticated psychological needs. He begins to express his own views, his own preferences, and he has an increasing need for freedom, autonomy and independence. This is when the adults in his life can treat him with increasing respect and thereby earn his respect in return.
It doesn't make sense to think of respecting a baby in the same way that we say we respect an adult. Yet on some level the two concepts are similar. This similarity has to do with our voluntarily helping that person with their needs. In either case, we must first accept the needs. For example, if a baby needs to be fed at three in the morning we don't do it begrudgingly if we respect his natural needs; we simply accept that the infant has a natural need to eat at that particular moment. Likewise, if an adolescent or an adult needs to talk, we accept this need and we show respect by listening voluntarily.
Below are more specific ways to show and earn respect, particularly to an older child, adolescent or adult.
Showing and Earning Respect
Respecting someone means respecting their feelings and their survival needs. Here are ways to show respect for someone's feelings:
asking them how they feel
validating their feelings
empathizing with them
seeking understanding of their feelings
taking their feelings into consideration
For this process to work efficiently several things are required. For example:
Each person must be aware of their own feelings; i.e. know how they feel.
They must be able to express their feelings.
They must know how to listen non-judgmentally & non-defensively.
They must know how to validate feelings.
They must believe that feelings have value.
They must believe that feelings matter.
If respecting someone means respecting their feelings and their survival needs, then if a person does not respect your feelings, they don't respect you. If those in positions of power and authority do not respect your needs and feelings, they will not earn your respect.
Here are some specific ways to show respect:
Asking others "How would you feel if..." before making a decision which affects them
Voluntarily making changes and compromises to accommodate their feelings, desires and needs
Not interrupting them
Soliciting and allowing feedback. Trying to understand their beliefs, values and needs
Giving them the opportunity to solve their own problems without underestimating them, in particular:
Avoid telling them what to do
Avoid telling them what they 'need' to or 'should do
Avoid giving them unsolicited advice, sermons and lectures
Remember that the most effective way of finding out how well your efforts are working is to simply ask, "On a scale of 0-10, how much do you feel respected by me?" If you have created a safe environment, you are likely to get an honest answer. Then if it is lower than 10, you can ask, "What would help you feel more respected?" Then you have the specific information you need to improve your 'rating.' I have found that most people are more than willing to express themselves when asked such a question. And the answers are typically articulate, and often surprising.
SOME QUOTES ON RESPECT
~ When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom. ~ John Gray
~ He who does not have the courage to speak up for his rights cannot earn the respect of others. ~ Rene G. Torres
~ Only those who respect the personality of others can be of real use to them. ~ Albert Schweitzer
~ We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. ~ John Gay
~ Probably no greater honor can come to any man than the respect of his colleagues. ~ Cary Grant
~ We must build a new world, a far better world - one in which the eternal dignity of man is respected. ~ Harry S. Truman
~ A youth is to be regarded with respect. How do you know that his future will not be equal to our present? ~ Confucius
~ You should respect each other and refrain from disputes; you should not, like water and oil, repel each other, but should, like milk and water, mingle together. ~ Buddha
~ Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that's real power. ~ Clint Eastwood
~ Love and respect woman. Look to her not only for comfort, but for strength and inspiration and the doubling of your intellectual and moral powers. Blot out from your mind any idea of superiority; you have none. ~ Giuseppe Mazzini
Friday, May 7, 2010
Celebrating Mother 's Day with this story 珍惜眼前人
This is a real story of what Mother means to a girl ----- read on:
"When was the last time we told our mothers 'I love you'? When we were young, we would always shower our mothers with little hand-made cards that were filled with lots of drawings of hearts.
"We would also kiss and hug them every now and then. As we grow older, we find it harder to express our feelings and appreciation for them.
"A lot of us are guilty of this. Today, I would like to take this chance to tell my mom that although I always argue or disagree with her, I love her deep down inside.
"My mother is an ordinary housewife, devoting most of her time to our small family of 3 (my parents and I). I have always been my mommy’s little girl.
"From young, I have only had one mission which my mother imposed on me - that is to do well in my studies and get a good job. Anything that will distract me from this was to be handled my mother.
"Hence, I've never had to do household chores. When I am hungry, my mom would buy food for me.
"When I run out of toiletries, she would help me to buy them. She would also wash and iron my clothes.
She takes care of everything for me, from top to toe. With such good support to do well in my education, I am proud to say that I have not failed her.
"I managed to graduate with a business administration degree from NUS. I have never failed in any tests and exams before, with only one exception.
"I failed my Chinese test when I was in Primary 5. I remembered vividly how scared I was to show my mother the results.
"When I finally did, my mother was so disappointed that she refused to talk to me for a week. From then on, I promised myself to do well and to never fail her ever again.
"I am glad to say that I did not break the promise. I remember the day of my university convocation - she was very proud of me although she did not say it.
"I remember when I was walking down the aisle, there was this majestic sounding music playing in the background. In my mind, I was telling myself, 'Mom, I have finally made it. I did not disappoint you.'
"My mother takes really good care of me, especially when I am sick. There was once that I was hospitalised for a suspected dengue fever.
"She was very worried for me. She stayed overnight at the hospital and slept on the uncomfortable chair which caused her a backache.
"Everyday she rushed between home and hospital, making sure that I had my proper meals and saw to my needs. She panicked when she saw the drip filled with blood.
"She checked with the nurses every now and then to ensure that everything was alright. Even when I am down with normal flu, she will stay awake throughout the night to measure my temperature at every other hour.
"Should my temperature rise above 38 degrees, she will prepare a wet towel and place it on my head. She will also rush home from work to accompany me to see the doctor and force me to get up from bed to eat food before taking medication.
"The most touching thing that she has done for me was to give me 4 years worth of her salary to help me pay off bank debts.
"I was dating this guy, Eric. He wanted to borrow a sum of money from me.
"As I did not have much savings, I borrowed from banks to lend money to him. When I asked him to return the money, he started to give all kinds of excuses.
"After that, I found out by accident that I was not the first girl that he had borrowed money from and that the girls had never got their money back. By then, I already owed the banks a substantial debt.
"I did not even have money to pay the interest. I was living from month to month by borrowing money from one bank to pay another bank.
"The interest rose and created more debt, until I was unable to take it. I was very stressful then and was very afraid that my mother would find out.
"It finally got to the point when I could no longer roll my debts that I told my mother about it. She was very upset but she told me that she would give me the money to clear all my debts.
"I broke into tears. She held my face and told me, 'You are my only child. If I don’t help you, who else can you turn to?'
"I was very touched by this. I have to say that my family belongs to the middle lower class.
"My mother's only income came from the limited amount of money she earns from her part-time job. The money she gave me was equivalent to 4 years worth of her salary.
"Can you imagine it??? 4 years of hard-earned money went down the drain because of her daughter’s silly mistake!
"It was truly a heartache! But as a parent, she would go all out to protect her child.
"For this, I am very thankful to her and I felt very guilty and bad about this incident. It was a very painful lesson for me.
"To all the children out there, I wish to tell you that every mother wants the best for her child. Mothers have this indescribable instinct to protect their children.
"Although their nagging can be unbearable at times, we have to appreciate them and show them our love while we can.
"The Chinese have this saying called '珍惜眼前人'. It means to appreciate your loved ones before it is too late.
FROM JABEZ AND RAPHA
"To my mother, no words can describe the love that you have showered on me. I love you, mom."
http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/top_mum_awards/368752/mum_gave_me_4_years_worth_of_her_salary_to_pay_off_my_debts.html
"When was the last time we told our mothers 'I love you'? When we were young, we would always shower our mothers with little hand-made cards that were filled with lots of drawings of hearts.
"We would also kiss and hug them every now and then. As we grow older, we find it harder to express our feelings and appreciation for them.
"A lot of us are guilty of this. Today, I would like to take this chance to tell my mom that although I always argue or disagree with her, I love her deep down inside.
"My mother is an ordinary housewife, devoting most of her time to our small family of 3 (my parents and I). I have always been my mommy’s little girl.
"From young, I have only had one mission which my mother imposed on me - that is to do well in my studies and get a good job. Anything that will distract me from this was to be handled my mother.
"Hence, I've never had to do household chores. When I am hungry, my mom would buy food for me.
"When I run out of toiletries, she would help me to buy them. She would also wash and iron my clothes.
She takes care of everything for me, from top to toe. With such good support to do well in my education, I am proud to say that I have not failed her.
"I managed to graduate with a business administration degree from NUS. I have never failed in any tests and exams before, with only one exception.
"I failed my Chinese test when I was in Primary 5. I remembered vividly how scared I was to show my mother the results.
"When I finally did, my mother was so disappointed that she refused to talk to me for a week. From then on, I promised myself to do well and to never fail her ever again.
"I am glad to say that I did not break the promise. I remember the day of my university convocation - she was very proud of me although she did not say it.
"I remember when I was walking down the aisle, there was this majestic sounding music playing in the background. In my mind, I was telling myself, 'Mom, I have finally made it. I did not disappoint you.'
"My mother takes really good care of me, especially when I am sick. There was once that I was hospitalised for a suspected dengue fever.
"She was very worried for me. She stayed overnight at the hospital and slept on the uncomfortable chair which caused her a backache.
"Everyday she rushed between home and hospital, making sure that I had my proper meals and saw to my needs. She panicked when she saw the drip filled with blood.
"She checked with the nurses every now and then to ensure that everything was alright. Even when I am down with normal flu, she will stay awake throughout the night to measure my temperature at every other hour.
"Should my temperature rise above 38 degrees, she will prepare a wet towel and place it on my head. She will also rush home from work to accompany me to see the doctor and force me to get up from bed to eat food before taking medication.
"The most touching thing that she has done for me was to give me 4 years worth of her salary to help me pay off bank debts.
"I was dating this guy, Eric. He wanted to borrow a sum of money from me.
"As I did not have much savings, I borrowed from banks to lend money to him. When I asked him to return the money, he started to give all kinds of excuses.
"After that, I found out by accident that I was not the first girl that he had borrowed money from and that the girls had never got their money back. By then, I already owed the banks a substantial debt.
"I did not even have money to pay the interest. I was living from month to month by borrowing money from one bank to pay another bank.
"The interest rose and created more debt, until I was unable to take it. I was very stressful then and was very afraid that my mother would find out.
"It finally got to the point when I could no longer roll my debts that I told my mother about it. She was very upset but she told me that she would give me the money to clear all my debts.
"I broke into tears. She held my face and told me, 'You are my only child. If I don’t help you, who else can you turn to?'
"I was very touched by this. I have to say that my family belongs to the middle lower class.
"My mother's only income came from the limited amount of money she earns from her part-time job. The money she gave me was equivalent to 4 years worth of her salary.
"Can you imagine it??? 4 years of hard-earned money went down the drain because of her daughter’s silly mistake!
"It was truly a heartache! But as a parent, she would go all out to protect her child.
"For this, I am very thankful to her and I felt very guilty and bad about this incident. It was a very painful lesson for me.
"To all the children out there, I wish to tell you that every mother wants the best for her child. Mothers have this indescribable instinct to protect their children.
"Although their nagging can be unbearable at times, we have to appreciate them and show them our love while we can.
"The Chinese have this saying called '珍惜眼前人'. It means to appreciate your loved ones before it is too late.
FROM JABEZ AND RAPHA
"To my mother, no words can describe the love that you have showered on me. I love you, mom."
http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/top_mum_awards/368752/mum_gave_me_4_years_worth_of_her_salary_to_pay_off_my_debts.html
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Salutation to the Dawn
Salutation to the Dawn
Look to this day!
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course
Lie all the verities and realities of your existence:
The bliss of growth
The glory of action
The splendor of beauty
For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow only a vision
But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore to this day!
Such is the salutation to the dawn.
- Kalidasa, Indian Poet
Look to this day!
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course
Lie all the verities and realities of your existence:
The bliss of growth
The glory of action
The splendor of beauty
For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow only a vision
But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore to this day!
Such is the salutation to the dawn.
- Kalidasa, Indian Poet
Monday, April 19, 2010
Confucius (also K'ung Fu-tzu, K'ung-tzu)
Here's an example of a story using jabez and rapha about Confucius:
Rapha asked Confucius, "When we hear a good idea, should we start to do it right away?" Confucius told him no. "First, you should always ask someone with more experience." Later on, Jabez asked Confucius the same question. But this time Confucius said, "Yes, of course you should do it right away." There was another student who had heard both of these conversations and was very confused. He asked Confucius why he had answered the same question in two different ways? "Jabez has a hard time making a decision," Confucius said. "So I encouraged him to be bolder. Rapha sometimes decides things too quickly. So I reminded him to be careful. Naturally different people should get different answers. "
Quotes from Confucius
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it. Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses. He who will not economize will have to agonize. I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star. It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop. Men's natures are alike, it is their habits that carry them far apart. Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do. Respect yourself and others will respect you. Study the past if you would define the future. The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved. To be able under all circumstances to practice five things constitutes perfect virtue; these five things are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness and kindness. To see what is right and not to do it is want of courage. To see what is right, and not to do it, is want of courage or of principle. What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others. When anger rises, think of the consequences. When we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves. Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart. They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom. By nature, men are nearly alike; by practice, they get to be wide apart. Fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated with true virtue. Have no friends not equal to yourself. He who speaks without modesty will find it difficult to make his words good.
BACKGROUND
Confucius was a philosopher in ancient China, about 500 BC. His main idea was that people could achieve peace by doing their duty, and cooperating with society. If people rebelled, and everyone tried to do his or her own thing, then the world would be full of fighting and unhappiness. So people should obey the law, and do what the emperor and government officials told them to do. Also, people should do their duty to their parents and take good care of their children, and people should do their duty to their parents/ancestors and to his God. At the same time, the government should do its duty to the people, and not abuse them or ask too much of them. The emperor should be cooperative and helpful to the people, just as the people were helpful and cooperative to him. Because Confucius wanted to make government officials behave better, the Chinese government did not like him while he was alive. But after Confucius died, later emperors of China did use many of his ideas. Of course they mainly liked the idea that people should obey the government, and they weren't so interested in the idea that the government should help the people!
Rapha asked Confucius, "When we hear a good idea, should we start to do it right away?" Confucius told him no. "First, you should always ask someone with more experience." Later on, Jabez asked Confucius the same question. But this time Confucius said, "Yes, of course you should do it right away." There was another student who had heard both of these conversations and was very confused. He asked Confucius why he had answered the same question in two different ways? "Jabez has a hard time making a decision," Confucius said. "So I encouraged him to be bolder. Rapha sometimes decides things too quickly. So I reminded him to be careful. Naturally different people should get different answers. "
Quotes from Confucius
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it. Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses. He who will not economize will have to agonize. I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star. It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop. Men's natures are alike, it is their habits that carry them far apart. Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do. Respect yourself and others will respect you. Study the past if you would define the future. The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved. To be able under all circumstances to practice five things constitutes perfect virtue; these five things are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness and kindness. To see what is right and not to do it is want of courage. To see what is right, and not to do it, is want of courage or of principle. What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others. When anger rises, think of the consequences. When we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves. Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart. They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom. By nature, men are nearly alike; by practice, they get to be wide apart. Fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated with true virtue. Have no friends not equal to yourself. He who speaks without modesty will find it difficult to make his words good.
BACKGROUND
Confucius was a philosopher in ancient China, about 500 BC. His main idea was that people could achieve peace by doing their duty, and cooperating with society. If people rebelled, and everyone tried to do his or her own thing, then the world would be full of fighting and unhappiness. So people should obey the law, and do what the emperor and government officials told them to do. Also, people should do their duty to their parents and take good care of their children, and people should do their duty to their parents/ancestors and to his God. At the same time, the government should do its duty to the people, and not abuse them or ask too much of them. The emperor should be cooperative and helpful to the people, just as the people were helpful and cooperative to him. Because Confucius wanted to make government officials behave better, the Chinese government did not like him while he was alive. But after Confucius died, later emperors of China did use many of his ideas. Of course they mainly liked the idea that people should obey the government, and they weren't so interested in the idea that the government should help the people!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Character for April 2010
For April 2010, we will study 5 character qualities.
Let's practice them consciously and make them our way of life.
Discernment and discretion are very important pillars of character in our interactions with others.
Diligence vs Slothfulness
Discernment vs Judgement
Discretion vs Simple-Mindedness
Endurance vs Apathy
Discernment and discretion are very important pillars of character in our interactions with others.
Diligence vs Slothfulness
Discernment vs Judgement
Discretion vs Simple-Mindedness
Endurance vs Apathy
Faith vs Unbelief
God Bless You
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Heroes of the bible- Jacob
Jacob – wrestles with God all night long.
We can’t be certain exactly what happened that night, but maybe it was something like this.
Jacob was moving again.
He pulled up the stakes of his tents, and he and Rachel and Leah and their 12 children packed up all their belongings and loaded them onto a caravan of camels. And with all their servants, and their great flocks of sheep and goats and camels, they were traveling back to the land of Jacob’s father.
They were a few days into their journey when they made camp for the night.
That night they had visitors, they were messengers from God.
“You’re brother Esau is coming to meet you,” they told Jacob.
Oh, oh.
“Esau is coming to kill me!” Jacob said.
When they were kids, they probably got into lots of fights - and Jacob probably always got pounded, because his older brother (by about five minutes! Remember, they were twins - but not identical twins at all) was bigger and stronger than he was - but for some reason that never seems to stop little brothers from getting into fights with their bigger brothers and sisters! That’s where Jacob must have learned it was better to be clever.
Of course, it’s not like they were going to end up wrestling on the ground or anything - they were both over a hundred years old by now!
(Jacob didn’t know it, but he was going to end up wrestling to the ground with God instead!)
But Esau was a powerful, wealthy prince. He had many strong and mighty men who served him - and he was coming to meet his brother.
..or kill him. At least, that was what Jacob was afraid he was planning to do.
And so Jacob came up with a plan to make peace.
He sent messengers on ahead of him. He told them to say to his brother, “I am your obedient servant. God has blessed me, and I come to you with many sheep and goats and camels.”
The messengers went ahead, and when they came back, they told Jacob, “Your brother is on his way, and he has 400 men with him!”
“He is coming to kill me!” Jacob cried.
And so he divided his household into two groups, “That way, if my brother attacks one group, the other may be able to get away.” he said.
And then, for the first time in his life, Jacob prayed to God.
“God of my fathers, please hear my prayer! You told me to go back to the land of my fathers, and that you would make everything go well for me. I came across the Jordan River with nothing but a walking stick, and now, look how rich you have made me! I am not worthy of all the kindness you have shown me.
“But I am afraid. My brother is coming to kill us all! Remember your faithful servant. Remember that you promised that my children would be as many as the sands of the seashore.”
And then Jacob went through his herds and chose gifts for his brother Esau.
He chose goats and sheep, donkeys and cows, and camels.
A good camel was worth more than a good car back in those days. A REAL good camel was like a Mercedes Benz! In the desert, it was probably the most valuable thing you could own.
Jacob divided his gifts into groups, one in front of the other, and sent them on ahead of him. He told the shepherd of each herd, “When you meet my brother, say to him, ‘These are a gift from your servant Jacob. He is coming right behind.’ ”
That way, Jacob hoped that Esau would forgive him.
That night Jacob and his family came to a small stream. Jacob sent his family across the stream to make camp, but he stayed on the other side.
He was afraid. He felt like running away.
Under a starry sky, he sat next to a small fire, with his head down in his hands. “What am I going to do?” he said.
And that’s when a stranger stepped out from the darkness.
“What do you want?” Jacob said to the stranger.
“You asked for my help,” the stranger said.
“Go away! Leave me alone!” Jacob said. Somehow, Jacob knew the stranger was the angel of God. It was God himself, in the form of a man.
“My uncle hates me, my wives can’t get along, and my brother is coming to kill me. A lot of help you have been!” Jacob said, and he tried to push the stranger away. But the stranger grabbed a hold of Jacob’s robe.
“Go away! I don’t need your help!” Jacob said, and the two of them began to wrestle to the ground. The stranger wouldn’t let Jacob go.
“But without me, you have nothing at all,” the stranger said as they struggled back and forth.
“I don’t care, just leave me alone!”
“All right then,” the stranger said, and he began to pull away (but he didn’t let go of Jacob’s robe).
“No! Wait! You can’t leave me here all alone!” And now Jacob was grabbing a hold of the stranger, and he wouldn’t let him go.
“Why would you want to help me? I have been a liar and cheat all my life. I don’t deserve your help.” Jacob said as the two rolled in the sand. “You won’t help me anyway! You have caused me nothing but trouble!!!” (which, of course, wasn’t true at all!)
But the stranger just held on all the tighter.
“You need me,” the stranger said.
“I don’t need you! I don’t want your help!” Jacob said. But deep down inside, deep in his heart, he knew that that was what he needed most. He tried to push the stranger away, but he couldn’t let him go.
And so they wrestled back and forth, on and on, all night long.
Jacob wouldn’t let the stranger go, and the stranger wouldn’t let Jacob go.
Finally, the early light of morning began to creep across the eastern sky.
“I won’t let you go until you bless me!” Jacob finally said, and he wrestled with the stranger all the more. In his heart he was crying out,
“Don’t let go! Don’t ever let go!”
And he wouldn’t let God go.
At last, God struck Jacob on the hip and put it out of joint. Jacob walked with a limp from that day on. It would always remind him of the night he wrestled with God.
And then God said to Jacob, “What is your name?” A strange question to ask after all of this!
“You know who I am!” Jacob said.
God certainly did know. Remember, ‘Jacob’ meant ‘Cheater.’
“I am Jacob!” Jacob answered.
But that’s not who Jacob was anymore. He was not a cheater anymore. Now Jacob knew that everything he had came from God, and not from his own doing. And so God gave him a new name, a princely name.
“You shall be called Israel, which means ‘I have wrestled with God’.”
And then God blessed him, saying,
“I am with you always. In all that you do, and you shall be blessed. Your children shall be as many as the stars in the sky, and the land I promised to your fathers, you shall possess.”
That night, Jacob learned the most important lesson of his life.
Grab hold of God, and never let him go.
Heroes of the bible- Joseph
That's what Joseph's big brothers thought.
They were sure their father liked Joseph best.
In some ways they were right. Joseph was the baby of the family. And new babies aren't much good at hunting, or watching sheep. Mostly they just roll around and cry a lot, and you have to do everything for them. So, when baby Joseph came along, of course Jacob spent a lot of time with him. Well, that, and babies are just so cute!
But, Joseph's brothers didn't like it.
And they didn't like Joseph.
They were jealous. They wanted Dad to spend time with THEM. And so as Joseph got older, they picked on him. It was easy to do because they were bigger and stronger. When Dad wasn't looking, they bossed little Joseph around. They put beetles in his bed. They were always making him do stuff for them - like he was their slave or something.
Well, one day they were all going to be in for a BIG surprise!
Of course, being mean to someone their father loved probably wasn't the best idea. Did they think hurting Joseph would make their father love them more? That wasn't too smart.
When Joseph was old enough, he went to work out in the fields with his brothers, watching over the sheep. Joseph was 17 now, and his brothers still didn't like him much.
It probably didn't help things that when Joseph went home at night, he told his father when his brothers were goofing around instead of working.
It really didn't help things much when one day, Jacob gave his son Joseph a new coat.
It was a wondrous coat!
It had long sleeves and was made of many colors. Joseph was so proud! He wore his new coat everywhere he went.
Well, that did it!
Now Joseph's brothers were SURE their father liked Joseph best. And maybe he did. But Jacob loved each of his sons, and would have given his life for any one of them.
Then one night, Joseph had a dream.
The next morning, they were all sitting down for breakfast (you can be sure it wasn't Cheerios or Cap'n Crunch! - more like goat's milk and cheese. Yum!). And Joseph said, "You should have seen this dream I had! I dreamed that we were all out in the field, bundling our wheat together into sheaves. All of a sudden, my sheaf stood up all on its own - and then all of your sheaves made a circle around mine and bowed down to it!"
"Yeah, right!" said Reuben, as he reached over and finished Joseph's cup of goat's milk.
"Hey! Cut that out!"
"Make me, you dreamer! You think you are going to be the boss of us?!!" And all the other brothers laughed and poked at Joseph.
That night Joseph had another dream. The next morning at breakfast he told his brothers his new dream. "Last night I dreamed the sun, the moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me!"
"Oh Great and Mighty Joseph!" his big brother Levi said, and bowed down to Joseph - and then he swiped his cheese. All his other brothers laughed and teased Joseph all the more. "Dreamer! Dreamer!"
Poor Joseph didn't know what to do. He told his dream to his father, and even his father had enough of his nonsense, "You think your mother, your brothers and I are going to bow down and worship you?!"
But, it wasn't nonsense.
It was from God.
But, do you know what? They were.
There was something about Joseph.
He gave himself to God, and he let God lead him in everything he did. It was like the light of God's presence was there, wherever he went - even in a cold dark prison.
That's what God wants for all of us. God wants us to be the light of His presence wherever we are.
The chief jailer must have seen that in him, something maybe he couldn't even explain. But he liked Joseph right from the start. And before long, he put Joseph in charge of the whole prison.
And God was with Joseph, and blessed him in everything he did.
Time went by, and it happened that the Pharaoh's butler and his baker must have been having a bad day. Maybe the butler spilled a goblet of wine in the Pharaoh's lap. Or maybe the baker's sticky buns were too sticky.
Or maybe they offended Pharaoh much more seriously than that.
But whatever happened, Pharaoh was not pleased with them. And when Pharaoh is not pleased, believe me, NO one is pleased!
And so he had the Butler and the Baker thrown in jail.
They were there for a long time.
Now, it also just so happened that they were thrown into the same prison where Joseph was. And before long, the Chief Jailer made Joseph their servant. Of course, this didn't just happen. God was working out his plan. A very big, wild, wonderful plan.
One night, the Butler and the Baker each had a dream. They were very strange dreams, and the next morning, they were both upset.
"You look troubled," Joseph said when he brought them their gruel that morning (you don't get bacon and eggs for breakfast in prison! You don't get pancakes, french toast and waffles with strawberries and whipped cream. Nothing like that! Nothing but gruel. Nasty gruel for breakfast, nasty gruel for lunch, nasty gruel for dinner - even nasty gruel for dessert. Well, maybe you would be lucky NOT to get dessert).
Anyway, when Joseph set their bowls of gruel down in the dirt, the Baker said, "We both had very strange dreams last night. We are sure they mean something, but we don't know what!"
"Only God knows what dreams mean," Joseph said. Joseph knew that everything we have, and everything we can do comes from God.
"But, tell me your dreams, and maybe God will give me the meaning."
And so the Butler and the Baker each told Joseph what they dreamed.
The Butler told the dream first
“In my dream,” he said, “I saw a grapevine with three branches. All of a sudden, leaves began to grow on the branches, and then blossoms, and then grapes. When the grapes were ripe, I picked some and squeezed them into the Pharaoh’s cup and brought it to him.”
“I have good news!” Joseph said.
“Here is what your dream means. The three branches stand for three days. In three days, you will be lifted up from this cold, dark prison. You will be set free, and you will be restored to your Master’s house!”
And then Joseph added, “When you are back, serving in Pharaoh’s house, please remember me. Put in a good word for me with Pharaoh, and help me get out of prison, because I did nothing wrong.”
Now, when the Baker heard the good news about the Butler’s dream, he thought, ‘Whew! That IS good news! I can’t wait to hear what my dream means!’
And so he grabbed Joseph by the arm and said, “I had a dream too!
“In my dream, I was carrying three baskets on my head. In the top basket there were all kinds of tasty baked goods for Pharaoh, and the birds were eating them.”
Joseph’s paused a moment, not knowing quite how to say what he had to say. “I am afraid for you the news is not so good.
“The three baskets stand for three days. And in three days, you will be lifted up too. But it won’t be like the Butler is going to be lifted up. You are going to be lifted up - Pharaoh is going to cut off your head, and hang your body on a pole for the birds to eat.”
That’s pretty scary.
But it has to be scary, because it is a warning. At the end of our life, each of us will be like either the Butler or the Baker.
Jesus was like both.
The Baker offended his Master, and he had to suffer the punishment for it. Jesus was like the Baker. Jesus was lifted up on a pole when he was put to death on the cross. Only Jesus suffered for OUR offenses, not his own.
But then, just like the Butler, after three days in a cold dark tomb, Jesus was lifted up to live in his Father’s house forever.
And so, when we come to the end of our life, everyone who believes in Jesus will be like the Butler. That is the Good News! We will be lifted up with Jesus, and we will live with him in our Master’s house forever.
But everyone else will be like the Baker. And that will not be good news at all.
There is Good News, but there is the bad news too. And that is something important to remember.
Well, three days later, it was Pharaoh’s birthday.
And Pharaoh gave himself a great party to celebrate how wonderful and mighty he was. Pharaohs can do stuff like that!
“Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me!”
Pharaoh must have been in a very good mood, because he forgave the Butler. He even invited him to his party, and gave him his old job back in the palace.
But things were not so happy for the Baker. It all happened just as Joseph said it would.
But the moment the Butler returned to the palace, he forgot all about Joseph, and never said a word to Pharaoh about him.
Heroes of the Bible- Jonah
I DON’T WANT TO GO
Would you ever say that to God?
Jonah did.
God said to Jonah, “Go to Ninevah!”
And Jonah said, “I don’t want to!”
Well, he didn’t exactly SAY that to God - but that's what he was thinking.
Back in Jonah’s day - this was a LONG time ago, about 800 years before Jesus was born - the greatest city in the world was Ninevah. Everyone had heard of Ninevah. And everyone knew it was an evil place.
So, God had a job for Jonah.
“Jonah,“ God called, “Get up! Go to Ninevah!“
“Tell the people there that I know all about the terrible things they are doing. They think no one can see the evil things they do. But I see!”
But Ninevah was a big, scary place, and Jonah didn’t want to go!
Besides, the Assyrians lived in Ninevah, and the Assyrians were big bullies. They were always beating up on everybody, especially Jonah's people. They deserved to get in trouble from God.
If Jonah warned the people of Ninevah, they might change their evil ways - and then God might forgive them (God is always forgiving people!) - and then they might get away with all the terrible things they have done.
That wouldn't be fair!
So, do you know what Jonah did?
He ran away.
Jonah went down to Joppa and jumped on a ship that was sailing for Tarshish. Tarshish was a city in Spain, or maybe it was what we call the whole country of Spain now, I am not entirely sure, but whatever, it was about as far away as a person could go. Jonah thought, “God will never find me there.”
But God knows where every gnat, ant, and bug on the face of the earth is. He knows when a mosquito lands on your nose. He knows where it came from, and where it goes. Of course God would know where Jonah went!
So the ship put out to sea, with Jonah hiding from God below the deck.
But God wasn’t going to let Jonah get off that easy.
Just as the last bit of land disappeared from view, God sent a terrible storm.
Sometimes God has to send storms of one kind or another to bring us back to him. But no matter how terrible the trouble, God’s power is always greater. God is always with us - sometimes in amazing ways.
Jonah was about to learn that.
It was the worst storm the sailors on Jonah's ship had ever seen. The sky turned black. The winds roared. Rain stung the sailors' faces. Wave after wave lifted their ship high into the air and sent it crashing down again.
The sailors were terrified!
They were sure their ship would break in two, and so they started grabbing all the stuff they didn't need and throwing it over the sides to keep from sinking.
Meanwhile, the one thing they really needed to throw over the side was asleep below the deck. It was Jonah.
The captain crawled down under the deck and shook Jonah, “Wake up, man! We are all going to drown! Pray to your God to save us!”
Above the deck, the sailors were fighting the storm with all their might. “Why are the gods so angry with us?” they shouted to each other.
(They were smart enough to know that there was a god who made the earth and the sea and everything in it - but in their time of trouble, they didn’t know who he was. A lot of people are like that.)
“Let’s draw straws,” one of them shouted through the storm, “Maybe this god - whoever he is - will show us who is causing all our trouble.” And so they all scrambled below the deck and got some straws ready.
Jonah drew the shortest straw.
“This is all my fault!” Jonah said.
“My name is Jonah, and I am a Hebrew. I worship the Lord God, the God of Abraham, the creator of the earth and the sea and all that there is.”
“What have you done to make your God so angry?” the sailors asked.
“Um... well.... (Jonah didn’t want to have to admit it)... I am running away from God.” Jonah said, and he told then the whole story - well, as best he could, shouting over the raging storm.
“What can we do to save ourselves?” the sailors cried.
“Throw me into the sea and you will be saved,” Jonah said.
Jonah knew it was the only thing they could do. He would have to take his punishment. One person would have to die so that the others could live. Many, many years later Jesus was going to do the very same thing. Only, he took OUR punishment. He died for us, so that we could live with him forever.
But the sailors weren’t willing to throw Jonah into the churning sea. They thought if they tried real hard, they could save themselves without God's help. And so they rowed with all their might to try to get the ship back to dry land.
But it was no good. The winds just blew all the harder, the rain stung their faces all the more.
Finally, they cried out, “Please, O God of this man Jonah, forgive us for what we are about to do!”
And then the sailors picked up Jonah and threw him into the sea.
At once the winds stopped, the waves rolled away, and the sea became as smooth as glass. Now those sailors knew who the real God is, the God who can calm the seas.
They thanked God for saving their lives, and they vowed to follow him from that day on.
Jonah saved their lives twice that day! He saved them from the storm (well, GOD saved them - Jonah helped), and he saved them from something much worse than that - a life without knowing God.
Meanwhile, Jonah was sinking down into the cold, black waters.
But Jonah couldn’t get away from God THAT easy! Even down in the deep, dark sea, God was with him.
And so God sent Jonah a fish - not a fish sandwich for lunch, but a big fish - and Jonah was the lunch.
The fish swallowed Jonah with one big gulp.
Instead of Jonah catching the fish, the fish caught Jonah. God seems to have a different idea of fishing than we do!
For three days Jonah sat in the dark, wet, smelly belly of that fish. But he was alive! And so Jonah prayed;
“When I was in trouble,
I called to My Lord
and he heard my prayer.
Even from the belly of a fish,
in the deep, dark sea,
God could hear my voice!
The water swallowed me up,
sea weeds wrapped around my legs.
And then I remembered my God.
I called out to him,
and in his holy temple
he heard the sound of my cry!
My God saved me!
And so I will give him
an offering of thanks.
I have made my vow,
and I will pay it!
For our God saves!”
Then God whispered to the fish, and the fish spit Jonah out onto dry land.
That fish was probably glad to get rid of bony old Jonah, making all that noise in his belly.
Jonah spent three days in the belly of a fish, and stepped out alive again - just like Jesus would spend three days in the belly of the earth, and step out alive. How great and powerful God is!
Then God said to Jonah, “Okay, Jonah, get thee up! Now go to Ninevah!”
This time Jonah went the right way.
Ninevah was a big city. It took three whole days to walk all the way from one side to the other. It had walls all around a hundred feet tall, and so wide three chariots could ride, side by side.
THAT is a big city!
Jonah walked into the center of the city and he shouted out, “In 40 days God is going to destroy this city you think is so great!”
Now, that’s not the kind of thing most people want to hear. And Jonah must have thought that no one would pay much attention to him.
But Jonah was in for a surprise.
The people of Ninevah listened to Jonah. The evil there must have been so bad, that everyone knew they couldn’t go on like that. They needed someone to show them the way out. And Jonah showed it to them. They could turn to their loving God.
And so, from the greatest to the least, they got rid of all their evil things (just like the sailors threw overboard the things that were making them sink when they were in trouble) - and they begged God for his forgiveness.
When the king heard the news of this, he didn’t get angry as you might have expected.
Instead, he tore off his royal robe, and put on an old robe made of the cheap, scratchy stuff they made sacks out of. He took off the robe of a king, and put on the robe of a beggar, to show he understood that God is the real king, and compared to God, he was nothing but a poor beggar.
And then the King made a decree. There would be a fast. No one was to eat or drink, not even the animals of their herds. Everyone was to put on sackcloth, and cover themselves with ashes, to show how dirty they must be in the sight of God.
“Let us call out to God!” The King decreed. “Let us all stop the evil things we have been doing. Let us stop hurting each other, and maybe God will have mercy on us. Maybe he will forgive us, and not destroy our city like we deserve.”
When God saw that they really were turning from the evil way they were living - and that they weren’t just saying it - he had mercy on them.
God decided he would not destroy the city after all.
God saved their lives!
When God first called Jonah, Jonah did the exact opposite of what God asked him to do. But God didn't give up on him. God used him to accomplish his plan. It was just a little more painful than it had to be!
But now, Jonah was mad.
These people did mean, rotten and nasty things. They were famous for it! They didn’t follow God, and still they had everything they wanted. It wasn’t fair!
“How come they should get off so easy!” Jonah grumbled to himself. Secretly he had been looking forward to watching God really punish them good.
Now God was giving them a second chance.
“I knew this would happen,“ Jonah said to God. “I knew you would let them off the hook!”
I guess Jonah forgot just WHO got let off the hook in the first place.
“I knew it!” Jonah said to God. “I knew that you are full of everlasting love, and that you are always ready to forgive and to hold back from punishing.”
So Jonah walked to the edge of the city and sat down to pout. Maybe the city would go up in a ball of fire anyway. That is what he was hoping to see.
Now, the sun was burning down on Jonah. Sweat was rolling down his face and stinging his eyes.
So God made a bush grow up next to where Jonah was pouting, to shade him from the sun.
Jonah was thankful for the bush and the comfort of the shade.
But the next morning, God sent a worm to eat the roots of the bush. The bush withered and died. When the sun came up, God sent a scorching eastern wind, heated by the desert. The sun beat down on Jonah’s head until Jonah nearly fainted.
Jonah cried out to God (well, whined, more likely!) “Why don’t you just take my life now, and save me from this misery!”
Poor Jonah. He was having such a rough time!
“Jonah, Jonah, Jonah!" God said to him. "Do you think I have stopped loving and caring for you? I could never do that!
“You are so upset because I let a little bush die - but you want me to destroy the whole city of Ninevah! Aren’t all these people worth far, far more than a little weed?
“Didn’t I forgive you, even though you tried to run away from me? I love you so much!
“Even though these people didn’t know me, and they sinned against me, I love them as much as I love you."
And then at last, Jonah understood that God truly is slow to anger, and always willing to forgive us when we turn to him.
Now he knew that our wonderful God truly is tenderhearted and forgiving, and overflowing with a love for us that will never end.
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